FFK

I have been ffk-ed today. Without a notice. How many times I have wished for this person to visit me, I get REALLY reallyy excited when I get a sms to meet up or to stay over in my place. And many of this times I have been let down. When am I going to learn, stop putting up hopes in meeting this person. The best motto might be "see you when i see you". It dates back to years back, I always been waiting. But often, there are certain circumstances that came up that I have to understand. It goes from house arrest, parents wants her back, need to see bf, going to SIngapore and bla bla... But I am human too. Do you understand me? The reason I get upset about it because I really miss you and hope to have catch up that s all.

However, I have made a promise to myself to never complain about this coz we have argued about it. And then it goes to her telling me cant you understand my situation and I cant help it and bla bla bla. I think almost 5-6 years has passed. I may have grown a lil. I dont complain anymore, I try to accept it and forgive and stupidly continue to believe those promises. Dont bother giving me hopes that you are coming or planning when you don't really mean it. Or just passing by. I am still waiting for a day that it is really an official date set aside for lunch or dinner, to just make that time for me. Not take me as part of the side business, and drop by to visit.

I think I have had it enough today. Wake up Lilow. wake up and smell the air and to a world of everything changes. Wake up to think about a change to goes with all the changes.

A nice phrase from the drama I watched: "Love in the 20s is an illusion, Love in the 30s is fickle and those who reach 40s can know true platonic love for the first time"

Some thoughts came up to me too. Teaching music to a kid, the connection of a student to the teacher. It s almost like a relationship between a mother and a kid. You watch them grow and you are excited by every bit that they have grown. And when the time comes they will be independent and flies away and be a pray that they be a better bird that yourself. Some students will be forced to leave your life due to circumstances are like a death in the relationship, passed on, just a metaphore.

Lazy sunday. Easy one. FFK-ed one.

May peace be with me.