Gamelan Composition Workshop

I think I had never worked out so hard in the gym. Or maybe I could say I have not experienced these kind of body aches since high school. Remember during high school? A week or two before sports day if you are in athletic or sports, you would train really hard for days till your bones feel like breaking. Well, that's how I felt for these 4 day workshop from 23rd to 26th September 2010.

Musicians are pretty much like athletes in some ways. We need to warm up before practise or we might heard ourselves. Most of the times, we ignore it. Well, today's topic is not about this. This workshop is to showcase the composition of 3 of RIB members, which is Ann, Umar and LFong. We are pretty much the participants of the workshop, players for their piece. 2 half day rehearsals and 2 full day rehearsals to learn up 4 new songs before showing it to the audience for feedback. The purpose is to get some response about the new songs.

Gareth Farr came all da way from NZ to facilitate the workshop, guide us musically, gave the composers some pointers and taught us bout composing for our 5th piece, which is a group effort piece. He set a time frame of 4 minutes and split it into half, where the climax is suppose to happen. Each of us have to give a vague idea on the sections happening in between the song. So, the final results was a section with sparse sound leading to low register notes to high register notes to canon to repetitive notes and then to chords played in sync (Climax) then to Q and A and lastly ending with sounds imitating nature. Pretty experimental in sound and sometimes could be a lil messy, but I guess post modern music is always that way. It is free yet contrained in a particular structure that progress without signal.

One embarrassing moment for me. A wrong note for the gong part during a slow melodious section. I don't know where to bury my face..lol. I mixed up the gong 5 and gong 6! Ahhh!!

Love the space in Five Arts Studio.


My fellow gong partner Colleen, wahahah! :)




Lunch break at the restaurant beside the studio with the gangA group picture of RIB and Gareth, missing of Adilah and Susan in this picture.

Well, till next post before I upload the full one. After the workshop, and also after every rehearsal, the song just keep playing back in my head. It was difficult to fall asleep. But an exhausting week yet fun! Gonna be so sleepy on Monday...

The Trails

I wish I could look back at life one day and the past with a big smile pouring from my heart. Not with a feeling as though lemon have been twisted upon it.

Time passes so fast. I wonder if my decision is correct sometimes. If these times are worth passed on like this. If I were to die today, would I be regretting something? Shouldn't I be going back my hometown more often? I miss it so much. It is growing more and more these days.

I don't know. I am still in denial sometimes.

People tell me that I am a workaholic. I know that too. Maybe I still persist in because I fear of letting go. The world will still revolve without me.

My aunt told me the other day, I gotta stop these hectic life. She fears that one day I will just drop dead. Literally. I feel that too these days. What if I just never wakes up. I could feel my body detoriating a lil. 2010, is this the year you need to be letting go a lil. Give yourself a lil more time. How? I get so frusfrated when I have to push away invites for fun. It's so sad. I need to live a life. Be brave. Throw it in. I keep telling myself, I have to let go some after a raise at work. The dice have been rolled and the table is just waiting for my last card to be thrown off.

It is time now, yet I still miss teaching the 2 wonderful students that I have been seeing the progress. The other two can just be trash away, dealing with them 3 years makes me feel like a failure. I might just get high blood pressure to handle them another year. What should I do? Part of me cries off to take a break.

Being in the harp fest was rather inspiring. I see so many talented musician and how much effort the have put on to hone their skills. Ive been reminded again that I have spread myself so thin, even thinner than the spider's thread. Rolling stone gathers no moss. Jack of all traits, master of none. That's what I am going to become if I cant stop it. My fingers are rusting up. I have not touched the piano for a long time. All pushed off for the sake of work. Is that what I want? It is all going to snap anytime now if I do not do something about it. Is money everything? Is it something I need so much now? Would I be happy with just a moderate earning?

If I could survive with only 1400 or less last time, why cant I do it now?

Should I let it go? Decisions need to be make. I need to improve myself desperately. I want to be a full fledged musician/educator. Not just a 'half a bucket of water' like a chinese proverb would say. I think I have said it. Next is just the action. It is such a heartbreaking decision.

I think it is time. :(

Dear god and goddess, please give me the courage.

Blessed it be.