Life Path Plates

As much as the earth plates are moving so much this year, I feel a little earthquake on my own life path plates. Different thought patterns do move certain events to happen. I wonder if all these are from my own mind and how my vision is a little different this year. Or it is just my incompetency that causes all these plates to move.

I am scared. Really. My body is tired to the bone. I wish for some time to rest and input a lot more resources into my life. I think my wish is coming true. Or maybe this is just a lil workaholic rambling. A lil bit more time freed up and I get a lil paranoid. Maybe all this time I plant this idea in my mind if I dont work so much and earn so much I cant survive.

Half of that is the truth. How do I afford all that I do last year. If only my current employer would increase a lil into the salary every year, at least after a few years I do not have to work my ass after work. It sucks. Too bad they don't. The course that they sponsored this year, I would take it as a one month bonus. Some people tell me that company sending you for courses and bonuses are two different thing. I guess i try to look at the bright side.

Today I got a call that made my salary dropped a few percent. Half of me is happy for the extra time released but the other quarter am worried of my income and another quarter am sad that I wont be able to see her progress. I actually had a feeling that would happen. Guess it did.

Shit, what with all this anxiety. I have been too comfortable in my zone i guess. 'This is your opportunity to improve and work on your resolutions!' Trying my best to comfort my self now. It is true. One of my biggest would be improving musicianship level and secondly learn a fourth language and thirdly, I think I have decided after today's call. Time to finish up LTCL!! Get done and pick up new skills.

AHHHH!!!