I am not talking about self value here or anything to do with esteem. Just how much are you worth in a company that you are working in? I was just talking to my colleague about pay rates, how much should I put for expected salary. After years of working, sometimes I forgot that I am beyond an undergraduate rate. Staying in the same company for four years, the word appraisal or bonus seems almost non existent or empty promises. I asked myself, what do I work to strive for in my job, where is the motivation?
At the beginning of the whole cycle, I think money might not mean so much as after 4 years. I charged towards upgrading myself and try to be competent in the job I am in. I try very hard and I do hope I have moved from amateur to experienced. Indeed, it is easier to handle classes nowadays compared to previously. I can spin out lesson plans in minutes or so because I have resources at hand. Do more research to find more new and creative activities. As I progress gradually, somehow the salary stays stagnant. My work gets more and more, not as energetic as last time probably due to burnt out , that never really had time to recover. Events after events, churning out like a factory. And like huge factory, with mass production there will be a loss of quality.
They take off much of my time but yet with my experience, I feel that I am worth much more and the inflations. Last year increment after 3 years was a joy to me, but this year, it means nothing. The petrol and food prices hiked up! After talking to colleague today, with 4 years of experience, we are not paid as it should be compared to elsewhere. Let me list out how pathetic it can be, a school without a desk for teachers, now even worst, no water provided for staff. Medical fee of RM10 a month when doctor's fees are about RM40-50 depending on how sick you are. The amount of over time. What I hate most is, carrying heavy speakers, choral risers and piano from one end the other. They are great accountants, they know how to be calculative . For instance, using the Saturday of the weekend where Labour's holiday falls on for work and made it compulsory. And plus a school that have no respect for teachers. Students run away when help is needed. After concerts, not a thank you and credits on screen goes to how wonderful the children only. What about staff who have worked so hard to put it up?
When 1 factor out of 3 in a job remains, maybe it is time to move on. The 3 factors are money, colleague and boss. I love what I do, I can bear with less money for a lil while. However, if there is only one factor worth holding on, I don't think it is strong enough to hold the heart.
It's time. I have to remind myself all the time. Move out of the comfort zone, go swim into the outer depth of the ocean. You have been too comfortable that you have became fearful.
Time to pack up the bags and clean the closet.
Time to leave.
I pray for god to bless my journey and my preparation.
May you be kind to me.
Cheers!
