“So do you have someone yet?” Rani asked.
“Single and happy”, I answered with a smile. A short pause.
“I’m too busy to fit a bf into my life right now”, I continued.
Its 2.30 am now. The conversation suddenly rang in my mind while I was watching ‘Returning Lily’ on Hallmark. I felt disgusted at myself for uttering the second line. I felt sick that I actually said that I am too busy to fit somebody into my life. Its just wrong.
The movie that revolves around a workaholic who got so busy that she neglected people around her, herself and her life. Finally, she found the meaning of living after a short trip back to Hawaii to bury her nanny’s ashes. It strucks me after a while.
Money. Full schedule. Endless traveling. Jobs. Internship. Future. The list runs on in my mind. I am turning into lil’ Ms. Scrooge. Well, I am not totally all that. I just got my own version of Christmas Carol re-run early :).
Human creates time. Human schedule their own time. There is no such thing as ‘no time’ for anything. Sometimes people get so busy with their new life, they forgot to contact their loved ones or old friends. Maybe their busy schedule has changed their perception towards that aspect of life. Its just not important anymore in their life.
I have been so busy this whole year. Juggling between my studies in uni and my piano diploma. Thurs to Sun in KL and Mon to Thurs in Subang for a whole year. To gain something, you lose something else. What I lost was my social life and free time. What I gain is wonderful dinner at uncle’s house, outing with cousin and music lessons.
An empty schedule scares me now. I think I have turned into a workaholic. Now I am exhausted physically and thirsty mentally.
I think I might just found the answer on what to do next month. Maybe I will still try out for the audition in January for a job. In the meantime, from 19th till New Year, I am taking a break. That’s what Christmas is for :). Prepare for 2006. Stay at home and reflect on 2005. Those sweet, bitter and sour memories. Resume my songwriting and writings online. Learn new skills, language and read. Rest.
MERRY X-MAS to everyone! Happy New Year 2006! Take some time off to rest. Even for a day.
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1 comment:
hmmm....
Sounds like me.But from my point of view being single IS definately better then being tangled up with someone.The happy times are wonderful but the sad moments can really be frustrating and pull someone really down.
Making time for a certain someone is alot of work.Considering we have lotsa goals in our lifes which we are trying to reach.
No doubt having a bf is good in it's ways but don't think about it too much.if ur scrooge then I'm 1 too you know.Can't seem to slip somebody in my schecule all the time.If frens,tats a different story.
Take time as it is la =) Don't think too much about it.
Go brush up ur violin and continue playing your piano lo.Unless can do ur artsy craft... =D heheh... can't seem to find the time for does things any more.... =(
~miss ya~
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