Through My Spectacles

How much are you worth?

2011-04-26T14:14:00.003+08:00

How much do I worth?

I am not talking about self value here or anything to do with esteem. Just how much are you worth in a company that you are working in? I was just talking to my colleague about pay rates, how much should I put for expected salary. After years of working, sometimes I forgot that I am beyond an undergraduate rate. Staying in the same company for four years, the word appraisal or bonus seems almost non existent or empty promises. I asked myself, what do I work to strive for in my job, where is the motivation?

At the beginning of the whole cycle, I think money might not mean so much as after 4 years. I charged towards upgrading myself and try to be competent in the job I am in. I try very hard and I do hope I have moved from amateur to experienced. Indeed, it is easier to handle classes nowadays compared to previously. I can spin out lesson plans in minutes or so because I have resources at hand. Do more research to find more new and creative activities. As I progress gradually, somehow the salary stays stagnant. My work gets more and more, not as energetic as last time probably due to burnt out , that never really had time to recover. Events after events, churning out like a factory. And like huge factory, with mass production there will be a loss of quality.

They take off much of my time but yet with my experience, I feel that I am worth much more and the inflations. Last year increment after 3 years was a joy to me, but this year, it means nothing. The petrol and food prices hiked up! After talking to colleague today, with 4 years of experience, we are not paid as it should be compared to elsewhere. Let me list out how pathetic it can be, a school without a desk for teachers, now even worst, no water provided for staff. Medical fee of RM10 a month when doctor's fees are about RM40-50 depending on how sick you are. The amount of over time. What I hate most is, carrying heavy speakers, choral risers and piano from one end the other. They are great accountants, they know how to be calculative . For instance, using the Saturday of the weekend where Labour's holiday falls on for work and made it compulsory. And plus a school that have no respect for teachers. Students run away when help is needed. After concerts, not a thank you and credits on screen goes to how wonderful the children only. What about staff who have worked so hard to put it up?

When 1 factor out of 3 in a job remains, maybe it is time to move on. The 3 factors are money, colleague and boss. I love what I do, I can bear with less money for a lil while. However, if there is only one factor worth holding on, I don't think it is strong enough to hold the heart.

It's time. I have to remind myself all the time. Move out of the comfort zone, go swim into the outer depth of the ocean. You have been too comfortable that you have became fearful.

Time to pack up the bags and clean the closet.

Time to leave.

I pray for god to bless my journey and my preparation.

May you be kind to me.

Cheers!

The Gamelan Project

2011-04-20T23:47:00.001+08:00

Another year with Rhythm in Bronze in The Gamelan Project. Thank you! :) It is a happy hour show in collaboration with a few MPO players. This year we feature different gamelan music from different region which includes Javanese, Sundanese, Malay, Balinese and Modern.

All good things always falls at the same time. School concert rehearsals and my own one around the same week. I have never felt so exhausted to the point I get lost in the same building. Hands nearly fell off after at night..straight to bed as there is a war coming on tomorrow. Secondary PA showcase. This year it is MIka and Bon Jovi for choir item :)

好久了

2011-02-15T01:03:00.003+08:00

新的一年已经到了， 2011。。。不知道该这么解释今年的期待和愿望。很多回忆突然间的漂过我脑海里。以前的愿望和要求在生活里，还有事业，还有对这个世界的看法。全都好像发了一场梦。

真的是很多事情好久没有去想起，感受还有时间过的太充满，太快了！好可怕啊！突然觉得自己失去了灵魂在这几年里。不过也不是完全失去。很多梦想已成真了。这儿就是一种代价吧。。。

现在，让我数下一些好久已没感受到的事青，不巧的在这一两个月里遇见：

1）终于不用担心星期六的钢琴科。虽然少了学生，有点儿难过，不过可以当作我给自己的空间和时间探一口气。去看看世界也好。

2）很久没有写 Blog ，还是用华语去写。还好有电脑帮忙，因为我还没可以用手去写字。不过在这十年里，我的中文真的有少少的进步。可以写出这么多字已经很开心了：）但是还会希望有一天可以写跟好和标准的作文。

3）好久没有摸到我的狗狗了。那天梦到它。我最喜欢拥抱它。希望它在天堂过的快乐健康。

4）好久没有谈回大学的快乐又幽默的日子。那天很辛云可以遇到久朋友和我的老师，在大学帮朋友的一个录影片断project时候。好开心和非常的想念。

5）好久没有大笑一场，笑到肚子痛。

6）好久没有看到帅哥了，还有那儿种中学谙恋的感觉，哈哈！别想太多，就放松的去享受这种感觉吧，二十八岁的我，我碴儿点忘掉这种事还尊在。呼呼。。生活太忙的代价。为了梦想，有时候回失去一些平凡和最简单的东西。但是我没有遗憾。

好了，我要睡觉了！

大家晚安！

明天是假期！

よかたね！！

FFK

2010-10-17T11:41:00.003+08:00

I have been ffk-ed today. Without a notice. How many times I have wished for this person to visit me, I get REALLY reallyy excited when I get a sms to meet up or to stay over in my place. And many of this times I have been let down. When am I going to learn, stop putting up hopes in meeting this person. The best motto might be "see you when i see you". It dates back to years back, I always been waiting. But often, there are certain circumstances that came up that I have to understand. It goes from house arrest, parents wants her back, need to see bf, going to SIngapore and bla bla... But I am human too. Do you understand me? The reason I get upset about it because I really miss you and hope to have catch up that s all.

However, I have made a promise to myself to never complain about this coz we have argued about it. And then it goes to her telling me cant you understand my situation and I cant help it and bla bla bla. I think almost 5-6 years has passed. I may have grown a lil. I dont complain anymore, I try to accept it and forgive and stupidly continue to believe those promises. Dont bother giving me hopes that you are coming or planning when you don't really mean it. Or just passing by. I am still waiting for a day that it is really an official date set aside for lunch or dinner, to just make that time for me. Not take me as part of the side business, and drop by to visit.

I think I have had it enough today. Wake up Lilow. wake up and smell the air and to a world of everything changes. Wake up to think about a change to goes with all the changes.

A nice phrase from the drama I watched: "Love in the 20s is an illusion, Love in the 30s is fickle and those who reach 40s can know true platonic love for the first time"

Some thoughts came up to me too. Teaching music to a kid, the connection of a student to the teacher. It s almost like a relationship between a mother and a kid. You watch them grow and you are excited by every bit that they have grown. And when the time comes they will be independent and flies away and be a pray that they be a better bird that yourself. Some students will be forced to leave your life due to circumstances are like a death in the relationship, passed on, just a metaphore.

Lazy sunday. Easy one. FFK-ed one.

May peace be with me.

Gamelan Composition Workshop

2010-09-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

I think I had never worked out so hard in the gym. Or maybe I could say I have not experienced these kind of body aches since high school. Remember during high school? A week or two before sports day if you are in athletic or sports, you would train really hard for days till your bones feel like breaking. Well, that's how I felt for these 4 day workshop from 23rd to 26th September 2010.

Musicians are pretty much like athletes in some ways. We need to warm up before practise or we might heard ourselves. Most of the times, we ignore it. Well, today's topic is not about this. This workshop is to showcase the composition of 3 of RIB members, which is Ann, Umar and LFong. We are pretty much the participants of the workshop, players for their piece. 2 half day rehearsals and 2 full day rehearsals to learn up 4 new songs before showing it to the audience for feedback. The purpose is to get some response about the new songs.

Gareth Farr came all da way from NZ to facilitate the workshop, guide us musically, gave the composers some pointers and taught us bout composing for our 5th piece, which is a group effort piece. He set a time frame of 4 minutes and split it into half, where the climax is suppose to happen. Each of us have to give a vague idea on the sections happening in between the song. So, the final results was a section with sparse sound leading to low register notes to high register notes to canon to repetitive notes and then to chords played in sync (Climax) then to Q and A and lastly ending with sounds imitating nature. Pretty experimental in sound and sometimes could be a lil messy, but I guess post modern music is always that way. It is free yet contrained in a particular structure that progress without signal.

One embarrassing moment for me. A wrong note for the gong part during a slow melodious section. I don't know where to bury my face..lol. I mixed up the gong 5 and gong 6! Ahhh!!

Love the space in Five Arts Studio.

My fellow gong partner Colleen, wahahah! :)

Lunch break at the restaurant beside the studio with the gangA group picture of RIB and Gareth, missing of Adilah and Susan in this picture.

Well, till next post before I upload the full one. After the workshop, and also after every rehearsal, the song just keep playing back in my head. It was difficult to fall asleep. But an exhausting week yet fun! Gonna be so sleepy on Monday...

The Trails

2010-09-06T22:23:00.002+08:00

I wish I could look back at life one day and the past with a big smile pouring from my heart. Not with a feeling as though lemon have been twisted upon it.

Time passes so fast. I wonder if my decision is correct sometimes. If these times are worth passed on like this. If I were to die today, would I be regretting something? Shouldn't I be going back my hometown more often? I miss it so much. It is growing more and more these days.

I don't know. I am still in denial sometimes.

People tell me that I am a workaholic. I know that too. Maybe I still persist in because I fear of letting go. The world will still revolve without me.

My aunt told me the other day, I gotta stop these hectic life. She fears that one day I will just drop dead. Literally. I feel that too these days. What if I just never wakes up. I could feel my body detoriating a lil. 2010, is this the year you need to be letting go a lil. Give yourself a lil more time. How? I get so frusfrated when I have to push away invites for fun. It's so sad. I need to live a life. Be brave. Throw it in. I keep telling myself, I have to let go some after a raise at work. The dice have been rolled and the table is just waiting for my last card to be thrown off.

It is time now, yet I still miss teaching the 2 wonderful students that I have been seeing the progress. The other two can just be trash away, dealing with them 3 years makes me feel like a failure. I might just get high blood pressure to handle them another year. What should I do? Part of me cries off to take a break.

Being in the harp fest was rather inspiring. I see so many talented musician and how much effort the have put on to hone their skills. Ive been reminded again that I have spread myself so thin, even thinner than the spider's thread. Rolling stone gathers no moss. Jack of all traits, master of none. That's what I am going to become if I cant stop it. My fingers are rusting up. I have not touched the piano for a long time. All pushed off for the sake of work. Is that what I want? It is all going to snap anytime now if I do not do something about it. Is money everything? Is it something I need so much now? Would I be happy with just a moderate earning?

If I could survive with only 1400 or less last time, why cant I do it now?

Should I let it go? Decisions need to be make. I need to improve myself desperately. I want to be a full fledged musician/educator. Not just a 'half a bucket of water' like a chinese proverb would say. I think I have said it. Next is just the action. It is such a heartbreaking decision.

I think it is time. :(

Dear god and goddess, please give me the courage.

Blessed it be.

What a week

2010-08-01T17:09:00.002+08:00

I love today! Finally a day of peace in for this week.

What a lot of drama goes on for the whole week. Well, let's start from episode 1 :)

I have moved to my new place. Finally got everything parked. People can get so paranoid sometimes. My wonderful new neighbour, gave me a fantastic welcome. Stuck a note on my windscreen " Please do not park here. Tq'. It was only the first time i parked there and less than 3 hours. Then, at night, my tenant came to ask me bout my piano practising timing, it seems the bitchy neighbour saw my piano moving in and afraid I would be opening classical rock concert everyday. HELLO? u dun even know me and I havent even touch my piano since it arrived. What SHIT. Episode 1 end.

Episode 2 happens in school, if such popularity keeps up, I have full confidence I can publish a book of quotes soon.

On the the 28th of July 2010, I quote :

"If a leader complains upon responsibilities they have to carry and venge their frusfration upon their follower, then they do not deserve the honour and reward placed upon them by their follower"

I had a whole lot of reactions from everyone everywhere :) Which is nice because I guess perhaps most people shared the same thoughts or had some experience of the same kind elsewhere. Unfortunately in my situation, my boss thinks its about him. LOL, and it created a whole drama in the company. It s just hillarious. Well, if you are reading this, it's not about you. Don't worry ok and don't perasan. My life is not all about my work and besides you do not know me very well enough to judge me or make assumptions. I hope i did not make your day bad from it. HAHA.
End of episode 2.

There are a few more episodes which I think I should stop mentioning more. I have a bad feeling my karma is building up. And its not worth it for such cause.

Hmm, finished spilling the beans frusfration.

Destressed.

Gamelan Festival 2010 (23-25 July)

2010-07-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

Can't believe it happens sometimes. Just last year I heard that my colleague was going for this festival and I was pretty excited bout her going. Secretly, I hope one day I could be playing in these type of festivals too. And tadaa! a dream came true again. I would honour 2010 with love, and also 2009.

It's the second World Gamelan Festival , hosted in Terengganu. We flew there on the 22nd night, I am pretty excited bout the workshop. An introduction to diff kind of styles from Javanese to Balinese to Malay. Newbie like me, this is a golden opportunity for me. It was a rainy time. When we reached at night , it seems the storm has blew the stage to a slight wreck and instruments are wet.

The 23rd, was the first night of the concert. Luckily, no rain that night. Excited that Hands Percussion were going to be playing too! Am a big fan of their works, esp stage and and choreography besides the fabulous drumming as well. The stage was icky, and wet and very squashed up in term of space. Some of us have to share a stool or play back to back literally.

The second day was much more relaxed. We were just there to enjoy the concert. Had a chance to play around with the Balinese instrument as well as Javanese. Balinese has very impressive rhythm and the ceng ceng (cymbals with fluffy red balls) and Javanese has pretty intense stuff as well. There are two Japanese groups one based in Japan and another is in Bali with two diff gamelan influences. Pretty to cool to watch them. There were also a group which does a lil stunt, for instance breaking plates on the ground and stepping over the broken porcelain, along with some fire act.

Third night, I had never been so wet before a performance before. The rain was starting to pour and the wind were so strong, that I fear the lashes I had on will fly off! It is really exciting playing with Rhythm In Bronze, which comprises of Sharm, Ann, LFong, Winnie, Umar, May, Colleen, Zul and Nadia, along with Vas who make sure we are on time, Nana who does our make up along with guitarist Isyam and Kamarul on drums. Judi came along with us too to dance for one song and Yasmin on vocals. I am really nervous for this show, esp for Teman, the arms..ahhaha..its not lifted enough, and the quickness of it as well. But great experience no doubt :)

Standby pose before the Perarakan song.

At the Terengganu beach while waiting for the bus to come. Last day before the ride back to KL

My fellow roommate for the trip! Hugs winnie!

Will end this post with the group picture for the nite :)

The Best I've Heard Today

2010-07-11T22:32:00.001+08:00

Just sharing something I read today, the best that speaks my heart at least :) *teary*

Chasing our dreams often means making sacrifices, especially when it comes to showing our loved ones how much we care. This song is to remind all those who dream big that sometimes the biggest dream of all is simply having someone who can be there with you through all the good times and the bad - someone with whom you can be happy just sharing a home-cooked meal. -Quote by Lee Hom-

Love you Lee hom! Alwiz my inspiration to music and what one can do :)

The Turning Point Again

2010-07-11T21:19:00.003+08:00

Do turning points comes about 4-5 years once?

It is happening again. When something so good happens and you could not believe it is happening, we always expect that something worst is about to come. Well, I refuse to accept that. I believe that turning point could turn out to spin out something even more better than before. :)

At least I try to for now. It s hard to believe there is a beautiful field of marigold out there when ya stuck in a gray fog. At least for now I could maybe rant about like a mad woman in the fog while walking to the light. Until I find my light, maybe this will help ease it a bit.

Well here it goes:

Rant 1: I am so sick of getting ill. I have been visiting the doctor every month since last year Oct 2009 till July 2010? I think, I lost count. From flu to fever to knee aches to eye surgery to ENT to..oh gosh..what else?

Rant 2: I feel like I dont have a home. I am quite depressed with moving out and housemates leaving to lead their new life. I miss having those chatty moments though it gets less these days. This feels like when I had to leave my hostel in Sunway. The previous turning point.

Rant 3: I am so sick of non stop events in our school. It s like teaching 2 weeks and then off to rehearsals and so forth..I am exhausted to the bones. How could the mistress of the school thinks that we are some magician, snap a few fingers and expect it to magically appear! We are human! and the children, for god's sake. Spare them from last minute preparation I pray! What kinda owner of an education place who does not share the feelings of an educator and child psychology.

Rant 4: I WANT MY VOICE BACK!! I am tired with these hoarsness! I Want to sing again like myself!

*sigh*...

Enough for today I guess.

Hope the fog passes fast!

I want my tranquility and equilibrium back!

And, my goal of next month, I am not going to be SICK!

Searching for The Lost Piece

2010-06-17T01:25:00.003+08:00

Things have quiet down. The dust have settled, leaving an empty clear plain. Breeze brushes across the plain once a while. I have been dancing across the sand to live in a delusion.

How empty it is..

The soul has a strong urge this morning. It is longing for a connection. A touch. That could perhaps be the starter of a new bliss.

Sleeping at 4am waking up at noon. Bloggin past midnight. This is indeed a luxury. Never knew till this moment.

This piece have been missing for so long. Since I was a kid. Perhaps now i realize it is the same piece that have never been found. A few others have completed a partial of this life's experience.

Yet, the soul longs for a connection, one that it could not seem to locate its whereabout. Where are you? Are you existing in a different plane?

Nothing seems so exciting anymore. The sea is just a sea. Night skyline is just a night skyline. Hills are just hills. Fields of meadows still sends me euphoric luckilly ;). I still exist. I still feel. That's what's left.

What are you searching for lilow? Where do this soul trying to find.

Drop me hint.

Maybe I do know.

Afraid to speak it.

Speaking might break the wall and leave it vulnerable.

But denial is more painful.

It has overflowed.

ID has admit it.

Now it's just waiting for the SUPER-EGO to accept it.

And EGO to act.

Ill

2010-05-16T05:37:00.003+08:00

I have never really believe all these silly feng shui prediction sometimes, regarding health and the stars influencing it. Lately, I might just believe half of it. But the other half, I blame it on my workaholic idiosyncrasy.

------------------------------

Why do I work so hard? hmm, question of the morning..

First answer that popped up: Company not paying enough

Secondly... escape from emptiness?

Thirdly,..guilt of doing nothing...

-----------------

Next question, if I have loads of $$$, what would I do..

First answer: Study

Second: Bring my parents to travel and have a good shopping trip!

-----------------------

Well, to keep on count, I think I have visited the doctor at least once every month since last year 2009..

Oct: Flu
Nov: Flu
Dec: Flu
Jan: Leg doctor
Feb: I refused to see one, but still end up taking flu medication, Leg doctor
March: Throat doctor
April: still sick, but medicating at home
May: Eye specialist

My health is collapsing on me. My body is. I think if I don't do something about it soon. I might just slipped away soon with some disease.

My job is hazardous.

I still have a glimpse of hope that there will be increment end of this year. How could a company leader be so cruel? No incremement, no bonus..overtime increases and most unpaid? Yet, they are living in high rise luxuries, investing on new projects and not on staff that are worth keeping.....

They pay stupid expatriates and neglects local stuff. Forgive me, not all expatriates are lazy. But half of them are. Do they even spend their time working for events overtime. NO. Do they really care about the students. NOT FOR ALL. AND YET their salary is double ours and even more with all the plus plus allowance. WHY!? Are we worth so little locally? They may have knowledge to share with us which are good but sometimes not all of them understand our culture and how we work. Cultural difference, will become a gap if they do not understand it before they start to impart their knowledge to us.

Partially I blame the stupid parents and the asian mentality that an international school must have westerners to be well established and recognised.

Well, forgive me for what I said. I am just a resentful worker and i resent the wages difference. And let's not talk about wages difference, I think incremement every year even if it is just a little will make staff a lil happier. There is a motivation to work on at least. It is the students and wonderful colleagues that I have that kept the stupid me on the job still. No appraisal each year, so what am I working towards to improve? Am I progressing? And old staff have lower wages than new ones? WHAT THE HELL??! It is like the more experience u have the lower you are paid. All these boils down to NO INCREMENT that causes these off balance.

I have so much RAGE thinking of this. Wages low and yet they have so much unpaid overtime or it is paid like peanuts! It is taking up my leisure and part time job.

I am tired.

Angry.

Resentful.

Searching

2010-04-23T02:35:00.002+08:00

Feels like I am searching for something...

Something bigger than what I am feeling and living and understood and... I just cant find a vocabulary to put to it.

Maybe playing Plant Tycoons have kept me quite awake. Which I know I will be so dead tomorrow.

Its 2.35 am.

Few more hours left before the alarm screams and the day begins again. Same old thing. I am not bored of it, I think i need a break. It is just never ending, one event after another in school.

Can't they just spare us for the weekend at least lil? I am so exhausted. Again. Every year I just complain about the same thing.

Does that mean it's time to do something bout it? Well being so free early of the year got me rather depressed. Or rather again, I am just a workoholic.

I saw some pictures of spring flowers in friend's facebook. Babies video. Travelling photos from of Japan. The world is so big and the air is fresh outside. I just want to have a sniff of it. The air with me right now is quite stale.

Something is missing.

I cant seem to locate it. :(

Tuesday Tranquillo

2010-04-20T18:48:00.002+08:00

It's been almost a year since I have been here. Wong Kok Char Chan Teng in Pyramid, my newfound sanctuary in Aug 21 2009. Somehow after that day, there were to much activity that I have no other days where I could come and chill out in Pyramid so often. Just too tired, want to return home to zzzz...

Tuesday tranquillo it is today. Rehearsal got cancelled and am stranded from returning home due to the strange jam in Subang. I rather be sitting here blogging than getting stuck in the traffic.

One new intern popped in this morning and said 'Wow, so free to surf?' Yinn and I just looked and smile. Today must have been the first day after the past few weeks, we could just chilled and surf around. It has been so busy in school and elsewhere, that we could hardly breathe. The secondary concert is finally over, it was great success for Rain Choir and Gaga Choir. It was torturous when you cant sleep at night for 2 weeks worrying about the items, dance choreography, costumes as well as song structure.

Hmm, and I could enjoy a nice plate of fried noodle and my fav ice tea in this restaurant peacefully today. Without rushing to swallow my food. Breathing in freedom of time and relaxing as much.

Breathe.

Just keep breathing.

Awards Night

2010-04-18T23:25:00.002+08:00

Today, I attended the 8th Boh Cameronian Arts Awards for the first time and it is also the last one. Kakiseni will discontinue its operation. Truely sad about it. This is actually one of the site I always recommend to aspiring artist or performer as a revenue or new opportunities.
RIB was one of the nominated ones in this event. It was rather interesting for me seeing so many of the local performing artist, public figures and also meeting a few of my uni mates and people I haven't met for awhile.

I love this picture edited by Colleen and taken by Ann, it is just adorable. Half of Hari Jadi performer there, only 9 of us attended. What caught my attention are a few things.

1. I love Bernard Goh's pants on that night! :) It's so Wong Fei Hung and stylish!
2. Shelah is fabuloso! and Zedeck is hillarious and looks good in that yellow dress + hair
3. Funny presenters on that night, had a great laugh.
4. Awie was there (me not a fan though) and those flashes from the cameraman in front of us is blinding me
5. Hmm...can be quite boring after awhile
6. Sad that I missed Hand's percussion performance..night was getting late and had to leave earlier

Well, that's all I can think of. Still sad by the thought I missed Dreams in November, and the plus plus is I BOUGHT the tickets and could not go! DAMN!(All pictures credit to Colleen Wong)

A Lil' Collective Memory

2010-04-15T19:47:00.002+08:00

Funky fashion for Gaga Choir. The secondary students which I am teaching for almost 3 years for some of them. Their final concert for the year before there will be no more PA subjects in Form 4. I am so proud of their progress til today. To be frank, I am rather terrified of them every time before lesson and much stress to deal with them. Almost zombies these students of mine, inactive and blabla...
And today for the concert, I think I could cry seeing them perform the way they did. It was fantastic!! We did a Lady Gaga meddley which includes Just Dance, Papparazzi, Poker Face/ Bad Romance and Telephone. A combi along with the music tech students Zen & Adam as well as the violinist.
It was a really tiring day, starting with the make up session at 7am. (Considering that I had my own performance the night before and all the daily rehearsal after work). Ann and I painted most of the silver eyes. Yinn drew eyeliner make up to the boys. Ai Ting and Winnie does most of the hair, basic make up and to other teachers Wei Keat, Hui, Terrence and Rebecca replaced most of our classes while we are busy with concert. Mun Fei handling the violin students and Terrence with his crews. To be a teacher in this school u have to be the stylist, choreographer, make up artist, costume designer, vocal coach and anything u can think off. I am so thankful to have wonderful colleagues who would all come as early as 7am and help to paint the students face. It all turn up well for all the items :)

And finally, I think i was emo-ing at the thought that am going to miss this whole bunch of Form 3s. Here's a post tagged to all of them on facebook:

--------------------------------------------------
A Lil' Collective Memory

Dear Form 3 Chorus Student of 2010,

Today would mark the final concert of your 3 years journey in C. Performing Arts, specifically in Chorus Subject. You have given your heart out for today’s performance and worked very hard for the concert despite your ongoing studies and sports practices. It was a superb performance today. You have grown so much throughout the years.

Do you still remember your first year in Form 1? Well, I do. Some of you have chosen this subject by choice and some of you happen to land into it by accident and some not on your own will. As for some, singing is a very new thing for you. It was so difficult to get you all to open your mouth and sing. If the repertoire was not to your likings, I will get a class of zombies or silent period and sometimes noise.

Entering the second year, you were about to have your first secondary concert. Performing in front of an audience can be a rather frightening experience. We did a rather theatrical concept in your item. You had to deal with costumes, acting, dancing, playing boom whackers, singing and standard expectation for the concert. I think it might be culture shock to some. After the concert, I believe some of you have made closer ties with your school mates and had a different attitude towards the subject.

And today, it was just ‘WOW’! You have given a confident and energetic performance. I believe you have inspired some of your juniors as well. You have danced and sang your heart out, and you were really entertaining the crowd. It is a far cry from last year's performance. The shy and soft singing have disappeared and you took on another persona. A persona that is there to rock the crowd!! :)

Lastly, I would like to say I am so PROUD of all of you :) I hope today will stay as an unforgettable experience in your school life and may your musical journey keep growing. Thank you for doing so well and be so bold in fashion and make up for Gaga Invasion! Indeed an invasion!

With warm regards,
Miss Low

**Specially dedicated to Aiza, Shin Yi, Sharon, Naziha, Theva, Isaac, Mishali, Niki, Say Art, Shanker, Natasya, Wai Mun, Danish, Aida, Amanda, Ilyssa, An-Gie, Mei Zhi, A'yssa, Heaven, Lyza, Sarah and Mae Yen**

Another Dream Came True

2010-04-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

I met up with Juni few days ago and we were talking about dreams that actually came true.

And I dare say now, 'Dreams Do Come True!' It might take some years and maybe many, and when it finally happened. You just wonder, did it actually happened?
One of my biggest dream was to play in MPO, the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. Hahha, but as you grow older, you realize how impossible it can be...You have to be superb great classical musician to be playing there. Well, to be playing in the philharmonic hall has took a twist for me. Instead of classical, I am playing the gamelan. Somehow, I can't believe I was performing in that hall that night. It was 14th April 2010, marks a very special day for me. Playing with Rhythm in Bronze and a few other MPO players, for the MPO Happy Hour: A Gamelan Discovery. I still couldn't believe that it actually happened. Well it did. A dream that came true, after rattling about it for many many years.. since I was younger..I am playing in the philharmonic hall! :D

So don't stop believing for those of you out there! If it could happen to someone as ordinary as me. As timid and introvert if you knew me 15 years ago. People change and path changes if you work hard and keep having faith.
Thank you to those who have led me here today. I am deeply grateful :)
(Promo group picture above credits to Manan Din)

Signs

2010-03-23T23:51:00.003+08:00

Watching xxxholic can really send chills up my spines. Don't get me wrong, it is not a horror cartoon or sexual by the title of 'xxx' which most ppl laugh when I tell them that I am watching it. It is just so deja vu and sometimes the script of the cartoon kinda laughs at me sarcastically at my thoughts, my philosophy, things which I believe and current happenings.

I just get spooked out a lil when it is so coincident, and even Yuuko (main character in Xxxholic) says there is no such thing as coincidence. I think I would truely believe it more and more. Recently I have been showered with so many signs. I am amazed and happy as I try to read it as fluently. The cartoon, almost half the season 1 do strike a chord in my system. It's almost speaking to me and advising.

I find most of my answers from books and movies that I would happen to fall upon as I need it. I guess, it is finally time to watch xxxholic when I stumble upon it on Animax channel last month. Not some silly bimbo shop but a show with great deep writings. I LIKE! :)

Just finished Season 1, at least that helps to explain and open up thoughts in my mind. The best line from the last episode, ' It is good to have someone to have dinner with you', that would add on to my gratitude for most day that I am grateful I am able to have a plate of decent rice with dishes daily. I am blessed.

A lot have been happening lately around me. Micro stuff which I do not even know how to put it in words. Recently, I had a dream that I would meet him in a concert, sitting next to me and exchange a short conversation before he goes away. And, true enough I did meet him but not like in my dreams. The smile that I used to love and from afar. In a hall filled with many people, I guess its fate that he would stand just 20-30 steps from me. But things have changed, the smily boy do not walk the road of ordinary anymore, walking the 'kampung road'. Sad at some point, yet I still reminisce the past, where the smile would used to brighten up my day at work.

I would go to sleep tonight with, I thank god and goddess from blessing my path and keeping me from loneliness. You have arranged every person I meet and replaced it with new ones when some need to part from the phase every now and then.

I thank you.

Goodnight heavens, I will ganbarimasu and genki da itsumo!

Kings of Convenience

2010-03-21T23:21:00.002+08:00

It was a stormy night, but the fans are most comfortable. Held in Bentley's Auditorium, an empty hall with carpet hall and good that keeps the sound warm and just nice. No chairs. To me, it is like a mini woodstock held indoors where carpets are like grass where fans can sit down or just stand up and cheers. Kings of Convenience are finally here. I have been waiting for them to come since I heard them 5 years back. WOW!
The best part is their vocals are so warm on CD and hearing their vocals live is like wrapping yourself with a warm blanket on a cold night. Quite a number of songs from the new album which I have not heard before but also quite a number from the old ones. Hearing 'homesick' live nearly made me cry. So much flashback from my hostel years, where I would play it late at night while I blog. However, it would be complete if I could hear Manhattan Skyline too that night. The band is tight along with their sound engineer who does most magic on the sound that night. Creating great dynamics.
The crowd is amazing too. I have never knew most Malaysian would know them. And for once, crowd that sang and clap back is perfectly in synch with the performance. None were terribly off pitch and beat. When they sang along as backup prod by the duo, feels like a mini choir downstage. The feeling is great :) I cant wait to see them back again.

Not to mention, the opening act Tender Fist, local group that plays electronica type of music, makes it so euphoric. They did a short collaboration with KOC too, which was brilliant when they sang 'Rather Dance With You'. Too happy to be there to hear Kings of Convenience life. Thanks to Sash and Ian which I drag along. Met some old friends too and 'The Smile" that I havent seen for years. Credits to Michelle for the pics I used here, not for commercial purpose btw if u happen to stumble here :) hope u dun mind.
To round up the night, the tom yam from the mamak below the tattoo place that I crave for after concert! And also finally I have tried the PIzza Cone Day. Fantastico Sunday :)

I Think I'm Cuckoo

2010-02-07T16:31:00.002+08:00

Well, how should I begin this.

I think babbling to other people when I dont know what is going to come out of my mouth or I cant even control myself or my speech or I just don't know what am I talking about.

Its scary.

I think I'm going cuckoo.

When did all this begin? I suspect it must be the fever on the first day of 2010. Or maybe I have lost my equilibrium.

One big event is finally over, thank god. But not for the traffic jam. Don't bother reading this post....if you would still want to continue. You have been warned. It will be a cluster of babble that I do not know where to throw it. But it has to go out of the system.

Going to work and getting stuck in traffic everyday for one hour is bad enough, and NOW no matter which hour u go out, 7am, 715, 730 and the later would be worst. You will still take about one and a half hour or more. Highway or without highway. Chinese New Year just get people going crazy and they just come out and occupy the whole road. There are a few occassions besides Chinese New Year, first 2 weeks of school reopen and also during the puasa month.

I am so tired, that I am getting not enough sleep. And every morning I wake up feeling so alive to teach and bloody traffic just eat up all of it. I am tired of talking so much and teach for so many hours. It is so tiring that my voice is fading away.

Am agitated, I feel like slapping anybody I see. I don't feel like talking to anybody but I also feel like talking to somebody. I am afraid to talk to anybody coz I can't seem to stop complaining. I am bloody frusfrated and I wish I could just runaway somewhere. My bones are so tired and painful and my nose is running, and yet the body still have to work. What nonsense.

I was stuck in a jam and lost in PJ for 2 and the half hour I was driving and driving aimlessly in the pouring rain on Friday. Everytime I see a line of cars, I turned to another junction even though I do not know where it leads me. Doctors appointment have to be cancelled.

I hate last minute changes. I hate sitting at the back of the stage for too long hours. I hate the walkie talkie on my ears, I could feel myself half deaf soon. I AM SO ANGRY!!

I drove aimlessly on Saturday, could not decide where to go. Traffic jam everywhere, I cant go home, I dont want to go to KJ and I decided to drive up to Damansara and I U turned back to KJ after seeing the traffic and the pouring rain. Strange, one part of the town is raining and the other is not. At the end, I am just parked right outside of a futsal place talking on the phone. It was a relieve to hear my friend's voice. I feel better. And brother soon arrived.

All the weekend plans, I am too tired to execute, lucky that it got cancelled. I am so bored on a Sunday, but the thought of the sea of people and cars and TRAFFIC JAM. I am so phobic over it that I would call my bro to watch movie and then message not coming after 5 minutes.

My mind is so fickle. What is happening? I feel lost. Anxiety. Depression?

I have been heaving deep sigh for many days. Has the moon gone off tangent? Or have I?

I need to rest.

I think I am just not well.

More sleep should shift my balance back.

Breath it all out, Heave it all out in the sigh.

All out.

Out.

Fatique Week with Lil Explosions

2010-02-01T22:05:00.003+08:00

Well, it is February already. How time flies eh? Let's talk bout the lil explosions for this week :) I have finally got my tickets to Kings Of Convenience Live in KL !! They will be here on Mac 21st performing at Wisma Bentley and tickets are going by RM132 for pre sale, for those who bought Junk Magazine you can get a discount at RM112 with the voucher and those buying at the door it is RM150.

Well who are they? For those who love acoustic sound with good harmonies. It is a MUST to hear them!! Thanks to Grace who have introduce them to me way back then in 2005 I think, been loving their music since then. I never expect they would come here and Malaysians have heard of them, not a mainstream band but awesome music!

I just hope nothing that will happen and the tour got cancelled. *crossing my fingers*

One week have passed in school, getting busier everyday. I am getting more and more exhausted, it is only the first month of the year that I started working. Went to see a doc to check on my knees and got myself some bone cracking session and physiology session as well. The pain has lessen. Learnt something about flat foot. I always thought that individuals are born with it. Well, WRONG! If you do not take care of what kinda shoes your feet wears, eventually you will develop flat foot. Like me. Mine is just about to collapse, so precaution will be taken now. When your foot is flat you will get all kinda aches on the knees, ankle and some even the back.
Hope these heals soon, am only 27 and knees are already like an old lady a lil. Crap.

At least this weekend was a lil refreshing. Getting the tickets and finally found a bag that I like. Been hunting since last year. I am fussy on shopping, which is good at some point. I am less of a shopaholic. Had a good yam cha session after work on Friday with Sasha before meeting my family. Movie marathon on japanese drama, tai you no sekitsu, 7 hours straight. Then, finally dinner with parents and Sunday, taught a lil and then shopping in One U! This is luxury.

Hence, today at work was a drag. I cant even open my eyes. Though the music is awesome. Rock opera is the theme of this year concert featuring the students in school.

Going to chill on youtube now, pick up some japanese before sleeping :)

Life Path Plates

2010-01-23T20:27:00.002+08:00

As much as the earth plates are moving so much this year, I feel a little earthquake on my own life path plates. Different thought patterns do move certain events to happen. I wonder if all these are from my own mind and how my vision is a little different this year. Or it is just my incompetency that causes all these plates to move.

I am scared. Really. My body is tired to the bone. I wish for some time to rest and input a lot more resources into my life. I think my wish is coming true. Or maybe this is just a lil workaholic rambling. A lil bit more time freed up and I get a lil paranoid. Maybe all this time I plant this idea in my mind if I dont work so much and earn so much I cant survive.

Half of that is the truth. How do I afford all that I do last year. If only my current employer would increase a lil into the salary every year, at least after a few years I do not have to work my ass after work. It sucks. Too bad they don't. The course that they sponsored this year, I would take it as a one month bonus. Some people tell me that company sending you for courses and bonuses are two different thing. I guess i try to look at the bright side.

Today I got a call that made my salary dropped a few percent. Half of me is happy for the extra time released but the other quarter am worried of my income and another quarter am sad that I wont be able to see her progress. I actually had a feeling that would happen. Guess it did.

Shit, what with all this anxiety. I have been too comfortable in my zone i guess. 'This is your opportunity to improve and work on your resolutions!' Trying my best to comfort my self now. It is true. One of my biggest would be improving musicianship level and secondly learn a fourth language and thirdly, I think I have decided after today's call. Time to finish up LTCL!! Get done and pick up new skills.

AHHHH!!!

12 days of 2010

2010-01-12T23:53:00.002+08:00

Sometimes lives are as short as dying amber. I can’t really describe my emotion these one week plus. The new year has just gone by in 12 days. So much has happened. I am split between bliss and sorrow.

New year was a quiet one this year. Thank you to yi yeng for being a lovely host and having us over. At least better than hitting downtown and join the massive crowd. We had mahjong and cheers to grape sake wine when the clock struck 12. Catch a tiny glimpse of fireworks from her mother’s room. We went on with mahjong and a card game. I had a long day, from school meeting to work. Just doze off for one hour in Yi Yeng’s house. I really tak malu. Hahhaha. Sasha, Ian, YY and Raul went on with the card games. Mc D came a bit too late, had nuggets and soggy fries before adjourning back home.

I am glad I woke up on the first day of 2010 without anxiety. It was 1pm. Wasted 2 hours driving up and down to Ikea, there were no parking and even Umaiya is closed. What luck! Had wan tan mee and chicken rice for lunch and dinner. Slept off and woke up feeling like crap. I was shivering and I suspect a fever was coming. Sick again and headed just in time for doctor.

Despite feeling sick, still had to crawl up to work on the second day of 2010. Taught the whole day and at least dinner was something I would look forward to. Bubba Gump with Sasha. Had a fabulous grilled chicken salad and choc brownie with vanilla ice cream. Good indulgence :) Then night was back to sash’s place for Wii session and another round of mahjong. I think am a bit stuck to the game eventhough I still dunno how to count to win.

Third day, can’t remember what I did. I think I was at home. I remember ironing all my shirts. Was a rather nervous night. Can’t sleep. School is starting the next day.

Fourth day of 2010, Hmm, Very excited for school . Woke up extra early to avoid the bloody jam. Good to see everyone. A bit rusty, speech impediment in class. THE CANTEEN FOOD SUCKS! I wanted to cry after eating it. Few days just zoom by. Excited bout Thursday at least, Fatty Crab and also Friday to RED BOX! woohoo! havent done that in awhile. Sasha’s friend Fabian is down.

Fifth day of 2010, just found out that Jessica or Noi , the person who tends to the restaurant next to sawasdee krungthep inn has passed on to the other side. I still remember the night he was chatting with us about his mother who have just passed on and some of his life stories. And when I told Hui bout this I also found out Rose’s school friend wei siong whom we met at her wedding passed away in a tragic accident. He was drunk and accidently stepped on the accelerator. Engine overheated and the car exploded. Life is so short, makes me think more about my resolution this year. I have a list of it in my head. I am so happy that last year, almost all my resolutions and also OLD resolutions have been realized. It is such a blissful feeling. Suddenly, it is a vacuum. i don’t know what to expect this year or 2010. A scary feeling loom, when everything has come true, is the end of my life coming soon? Scrap that. Just my mind’s drama again.

6th day, Quite overwhelmed with the list of events in the calendar. Feels a bit jittery and a bit lazy to go out after work. But I know I should while my wednesday is still empty ! So was in Midvalley for dinner with Jo, Yinn, Bee Hwa and Shen Vee. Dinner somehow extended to supper and we left the building only at 10pm. Catching up with each other. Suppose to watch a movie but the cue was too long and Princess and the Frog became Duhai Si Pari Pari. *sweat*. Well, a good yam cha session at the Taiwan place right out the cinema sounds like a good idea.

7th day of 2010, parents came down. Had dinner at their place and then slept off a bit before heading to Fatty Crab. Good too see everyone. The usual suspect and then off to Piccadaly for supper. I seem to have grown a bit sick of alcohol, maybe coz am alwiz falling sick and the memory of too much vodka on 17th December 2009 still lingers.

8th day, just great. Am sick again. Feeling feverish right before work and on the verge of taking MC. Sigh. but nope, need to get up to work. One day has passed, survived my secondary class. Phew. Body not feeling so great. Everything from the tea session which includes sandwich, cake and popiah was donated to the toilet bowl. It just did not digest. Took panadol, flu and vitamin C to surpress it. Jo came over and I snapped some pics of her for her audition.

Upset bout churches being burned down. it is just horrible. If religion makes people fight, why bother having one. And if your religion does teach you to forgive or live with love and tolerant, and you are burning other’s people’s holy places and spreading war...then you are indeed not a devotee at all. Shame on those idiots. I am scared. Will be be the next massacre kinda country or another 13th May. I hope not. Visiting Tuol Sleng and also reading bout Nazi and visiting Cu Chi tunner in Vietnam..it is just so sad. I was in so much fear after going into the tunnel which has already been modified and made slightly bigger. Only 60m of length. I remember the thought of it and I was shaking so much during dinner at christmas eve. Nobody knew. It is just the thought of how many blood has stains those ground I am stepping on and the torture of crawling in it at a long distance for war. Brrr... I pray for world peace everyday.

9th day, had to work again on Saturday. These days am getting really tired. I don’t know is it that i have not have a long break or I just really need to rest a while, get away and do something for myself. After work, went for cendol with Sasha and Fabian and later joined the gang in Asia Cafe. Seet called for jam, and zoomed off to studio short while just catching with the rest of the band.

10th day, Sunday, I hate it when I have to work also. But if I don;t, how am I to survive. So thankful there is a job, a form of consolation at least. Heard the most devastating news. First we have churches burned down, 3 of them. Then there were a few being splashed with paint and thrown molzotov. Never knew that my ex school Convent and also All Saints, church I have stepped in before was part of these shameless act. What’s happening to the world. Had a jam session at night and ended really late. Was half dead already by then.

11th day of 2010. One class only for the day. Had lots of time but I was just catching up with reading news. The more I read it the angrier, scared and sad I get. I should just stick to my old ways of not touching the newspaper. All bullshit. Was in a mood to watch movie. I actually asked about 8 person, nobody is free. Hahaha..what luck. Today I was just too lazy to crawl in to the cinema on my own, just feel like having a friend to share with. So, went home, had a good meal and drift of to Whats Going On album. It’s such a weed like song, not psychidelic yet floating feeling. And I drift off to dreamland unknowingly...

12th day of 2010. One class only for the day. It has been raining exactly at 430. Caught in the rain and traffic. I was in so much hunger that after my last piano student at night, I had a splitting headache and faintish. Bad bad. was too tired to wait for Burger Ramlee to cook or open up my sardine can to make sandwich. So, I just ate junk and slept it off.

Appetite have been not so great lately. It is extreme. There are days I just at two person’s portion and there are days I just eat because I have to. It must have been spoilt since the first week of school. I did not realize how much I relied on canteen food and how much I love Aunty Chiam’s cooking. When it is gone, I was devastated. Food just does not taste like food anymore. It’s like some random paper you stuffed into your mouth. Am also tired of getting sick. And my knees are hurting these days. I wonder if it is the age catching up or the fall last time or my diet has not enough calcium for the bones. I don’t know. Hmmm. However, food is getting better in the canteen :) Just in one short week, they really took the effort in improving the taste and prices. Good. At least I dont have to sweat about food every morning before I wake up.

Superficial

2009-10-07T10:40:00.003+08:00

This year has passed so fast, in a blink of an eye. Almost everyday is fully marked with events. Memories made to be kept. Bonds formed and also bonds disconnected.

Sometimes I wonder how superficial these bonds are or rather I see things a lil simple and naive. I still could not understand how can individuals come into your life and bonded so fine. Shared many and live through many joys and pains. When they choose to leave, they just disconnect so abruptly. Shut you off their life as they move to other phases. Literally, just ...disconnect.

It makes you wonder what have happened in the previous time. Those moments that are formed. We weren't really friends ? It was just an acquaintance? Maybe I have just imagined those bonds. They never really there. It was loneliness. Having company makes you delusional and think that friendship is formed. In fact, it is just acquaintanceship. Or perhaps, some friendship has an expiry date. When it is the end, it is just the end. Like how seasons changes on earth.

Yet...
It hurts..

Perhaps next time I will not be such a fool. Acquaintance is formed instantly. Friends,it takes a while to know if they fall to that category. They could be just parasites and user living off you. Living off your time.

Bitter I may sound,
I forgive...
Will move on with the pain...
For I believe will heal with time..
And spend more hours with those dear ones and friends that are worthwhile, that will stay together with me throughout my life.
Not time wasters who eats my precious moments and heart..

Spirit of Adventure

2009-09-03T08:07:00.003+08:00

Wednesday seems to be THE night off weekly for this year, I would try my best to make it as empty or fill it with hanging out with my friends.

Yesterday, was spent with Neets, Dino and Wannie. It has been quite some time since I last saw them, except for Neet where we have coffee together the previous week. Dinner at Vietnam Kitchen, not too bad. The tofu was not fantastic in the set meal, the rest are all right, still taste rather Chinese.

My stomach have been killing me since Monday night. I have no idea why. Even till this morning. I swear I could just sleep on the toilet bowl of my school toilet. There is so much of wind inside. It all started on my gluttony on Monday, with the 'rojak' way of stuffing things in my stomach. I had Siam Belacan Fried Rice, a few bites of Baked Cheese Seafood and Carbonara, topping it up with two cups of teh tarik and a bottle of beer. It got me for indigestion for the night. Felt sick on Tuesday morning that I have to take MC which I think it is food poisoning or too much tea. My whole body felt limp and wind in the stomach. Doesnt seem to have much appetite. arrgghh..hate to be sick esp not knowing what's wrong. Will head to the doc if it persists.

Despite all the mumbo jumbo in the body, I saw a touching movie yesterday night with the babes. 'Up'. The animation was brilliant in terms of the story line. In the first half hour or less, they sum up a couple's life since childhood till old age, until the wife passes on. Then, the next part goes into the next chapter of the husband's life. A wonderful movie about cycle of life, death, love, courage and adventure. He met this cute lil boy Russel, and along with other companions. Sometimes in life, you have a dream and you get so frusfrated that it did not come true. And when you finally find it, ordinary as it can be. It is not the dream you had that makes life so sweet, it is the people and events you meet along the way that makes it so awesome! The path that you were directed into unconsciously that has more gems in it than the one you dream of walking upon. Up is about that or maybe much more. When you finally close the past chapters, you will be able to venture on to the new ones. That is also if you could let go of everything to see what you have at present. These are simple ways to live life, sometimes as adults we forget through the material world and seas of work, being rigid and grumpy.

My favourite part of the movie is the pictures in the scrape book (The Adventure Book). Lovely moments.Besides, Russel is entertaining and the script is clever as well as funny besides the touching moments which are most often unspoken.

Signing off for the day :)

School Holidays

2009-08-21T18:46:00.002+08:00

Among the few weeks after FAME production, this is my most hyper day of all. I was all perked up the whole day, I feel as if I could jump up and touch the sky soon. School holidays are finally here! The H1N1 cases has led the primary students to be off from school. The whole week was almost dream like and I am so lethargic. Thought they are no classes, we still have to train students for the Merdeka assembly.

I have been placed to help with the dance assemble, mostly being the sound woman on board. They are rehearsing the silat style with other martial arts form, all fused together to form the warrior dance. CPAC did a fantastic item again this assembly, very unusual and fresh sound. The rain stick and the di zi (chinese flute) and a very different kind of playing from the recorder. I get goosebumps when I hear it. It was a blend of malay, chinese and indian folk songs all mashed together in this instrumental piece. BEAUTIFUL. No other words to describe it.

I have a new discovery in Sunway Pyramid, I have finally found the perfect spot to have my meals (which does not cost too much) and free wifi as well. Nice and cosy. I would rather pay RM12 for a plate of noodles than a cup of starbucks coffee. Definitely the more filling food. Wong Kok Char Chan Teng. The perfect place, the next time I will order my milk tea and some other toast which are quite fabulous here as well.

Tomorrow is also another exciting day! I will be flying off to Bangkok! After 4 years, I am finally returning again. Hopefully I could meet up with Bow, the friend from our previous study trip. It is just all so exciting. Then, I am going to be entertained by Hui and CK, the comedy duo. Going to be laughing my ass off when they start their usual tease. Muahhahaha..cant wait! Have to leave for work now. Last session for the week and am free! AYayayyayyaayay!!

One Thing To Another

2009-08-03T07:52:00.007+08:00

Last week was a dread, even from Monday itself. The events just keep coming and coming. One after another. After a long night on Friday, I have to crawl out of bed at 8 plus for another session on Saturday. Work ended at 5pm. Finally, I could not wait to get back home and hit the sack. Might even wake up later for dinner. I am exhausted. In need of a hanger to lift my body up.

As I reached the traffic light near Summit, I was greeted by a long queue of cars. Bloody hell, jam on a Sat at that kinda hour. Crap. It was due to the road blocks happening around KL. Annoying. I decided to detour down to KESAS highway, try my luck if my cousins are around.

Luckily they were. It was so good to see them. Poor SY is sick, hope she feels more high spirited and she could see the path she is heading much sooner. Reached her place, chatter awhile and as usual TY bed of wonders, and i mean literally the bed. Once you lie upon it, you will fall into deep slumber. Slept till 9pm without realising I was already very hungry. Went out for dinner and pasar malam in Bolton. Still a bit disoriented from the week. Pan Mee was refreshing. Sui Kau was not the most fantastic but still nice. Reached home at about 11. Trapped in front of the tv watching my cousin play Resident Evil 4 till 2am. Those zombies are quite entertaining and much violence as well. Head cutting and shooting and killing. Felt like I was watching a horror flick , with exception, it is one that lasted for more than 2 hours and the movement of the characters are partially controlled by us.

Sunday morning did not start so great. Woke up with period pain that lasted for 2 hours plus. I was sitting in the toilet till my butt aches. Finally, manage to fall asleep on my cousin's parquet floor. Initial plan for the day was to buy books in Chambers Music, but due to the fear of jam, we skipped it and went to order cake for my cousin only. Came back and got stuck with Super Mario game on PS2 till dinner time, played till my thumb hurts. And another chapter of Resident Evil 4 game before zzzzzzz time.

Dinner was fantastic, 'lam yu chicken' with 'choi kon soup', steamed egg and vegetables. Nice home cooked food. Thank you Uncle Wong!

Monday did not seem so tired like the last. All recharged, hopefully the battery will last till the end of this week. Cant wait to catch the Butoh Performance this Saturday at the Annexe, Central Market.

Psycho Drivers

2009-07-29T23:21:00.002+08:00

Malaysian drivers can be such a pain in the ass! Car indicators are almost non existent in their vocabulary. Some morning are so beautiful, but some kiasu drivers or just because they are having a bad mood, they pissed others off with their horrible driving. Hello? Get a life.

This week, the planetary influences above must have gone wrong causing such crazy vibes, especially among motorcyclist. They really look like drunken flies on the road. Sometimes, cars try their best to make way for you or not to knock you down by your GT sport kinda stunts you do on the road. However, advantage are being taken by being the king of the road. You zoom in and out of the lanes, drive off lanes where you are not suppose to be on. Make U-turns at the most awkward side of the road. And the best part is, honk at drivers to make way for you.

Well, those are the motorcyclist. Let's talk about car drivers, especially those with four wheels. Just because your vehicle is big, I know we can see you. BUT we still cannot read whether you need to change lane. So aunty uncle sis bro sekalian. Please use the indicator. And also stop being kiasu, when someone place an indicator to come out, stop speeding up and be such an ass. Have some courtesy to allow drivers to cut lane if they have put the indicator lights. Or else you will start training more idiots to not put on the indicator because every time they do that, no drivers allowed them to cut in. And next, QUEUE up. Stop cutting line. Teachers or parents did not teach is it?! Forgive my manglish.

Next, it is the lorry and the bus. Just because you are the giants of the roads and I know you know that others are afraid of you. This doesnt mean you can come out of the lane by putting a one second indicator light alert. It means, flash signal and turn out straight without checking if there is a car beside you or coming on. That's why there are so many accidents on the highway. People going at 110km/j on the road wont be able to jam break in time for you!

Sigh...Well, the highlight of the story is my friend:

She was at the toll, cutting into the lane to pay toll, the driver A from the back refused to give way. However, the whole area is rather jam up, if my friend does not move first, driver A would still not able to go through. So, finally, my friend manage to get into the line and suddenly she heard a loud thump on the roof of her car. A metal piece bounced off and knocked the in front. She saw from the front mirror of the hand of the culprit sliding back into the car. Driver A got so kiasu and mad that he threw an object at my friend's car. She was so angry and got out of the car. The Driver A has change course to another lane. I admire my friend's bravery. She went and knocked at the mirror but the driver ignored and shoo-ed her away. She went right in front and he was just looking else where. She got more furious and went beside his mirror and knocked again at the mirror. Still ignoring her, she just swears and raised a finger at him.

Check out how dangerous it is to drive in KL sometimes. You are more likely to die of a heart attack first than an accident, with such drivers on the road that are out to piss you off.

Well, not everybody is an asshole on the road. They are some very polite and courteous driver still existing. So, no offence. Just your luck and I wish you all the patience for all KL drivers!

Clementine

2009-07-27T23:52:00.000+08:00

All my years from childhood until adult, The children song Clementine has never came across as such a tragic story. I have just tormented the day of the 7 year old classes today after explaining the story of the Clementine song. There was a moment of silent and all eyes were looking at me. I laughed a bit and changed the topic to clear off the solemn mist.

The only line that most people will know best is 'Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine, You are lost and gone forever, something something... Clementine. Mostly partial memory.

Melodically it sounded sweet but lyrically speaks of a tragic story. It even describe how poor clementine is gasping for air underwater.

In a cavern, in a canyon,
Excavating for a mine
Dwelt a miner forty niner,
And his darling Clementine.

Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Light she was and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes, without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine.

chorus **

Drove she ducklings to the water
Ev'ry morning just at nine,
Hit her foot against a splinter,
Fell into the foaming brine.

chorus**

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles, soft and fine,
But, alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine.

Well, luckily these few verses only stopped there in that music sheet. I have found another more version online for scouts/children which continues the tragic story (as below)

Then the miner, forty-niner
Soon began to peak and pine
Thought he oughta join his daughter
Now he's with his Clementine

Chorus**

There's a churchyard on the hillside
Where the flowers grow and twine
There grow roses, mongst the posies
Fertilized by Clementine

Chorus **

In my dreams she still doth haunt me
Robed in garments soaked in brine
Though in life I used to hug her
Now she's dead, I draw the line

Now you kids [or Scouts] may learn the moral
Of this little tale of mine,
Artifical respiration
Would have saved my Clementine

Hahaha, first the father commit suicide, then flower beds fertilized by Clementine body, then the ghostly appearance of Clementine. My my.... @,@''' *sweats*

That's the highlight of the day :) The moral of the story is, read the lyrics of your lesson first before teaching, even if the genre is children song. It could be more tragic than your regular pop song. LOL!

Childhood Games

2009-05-06T13:24:00.009+08:00

Once upon today, I came across something I used to play in class when teachers are away for meeting or elsewhere or before examination just to pass time. I was just sitting in for my colleague today for one of the classes and the kids were noisy but not random chatter. Busy with their own games. The first game I came across was :

B-I-N-G-O , nope...not the song about the dog and the farmer. Look at the picture above. We draw a box with 5 columns and rows. Fill it up with number from 1-25, randomly. This game is played by 2 or more people. Each person will take turns to call out the number and then the number will be strike out. Once any rows diagonally, up or down which has 5 numbers being circled they can cross out the whole row and one letter from the word BINGO. Whoever who finish crossing out the word BINGO first is the winner.

Then, I started to walk off to another table to see what the bunch of students is doing. They were doing a mini hand prediction game. First, they outline a friend's palm on the paper. Each finger is being separated into a few section. The thumb is where you list your favourite number, the index finger you write the 3 character that you like in your husband/wife. The middle finger, you write 3 type of cars that you like. The ring finger is where you write 3 types of house you would like to owe and the pinky finger you write three colours that you write. In the middle of the palm is the type of life that you will live. P/M/R (Poor, Middle, Rich).

Then, the facilitator of the game will keep drawing strokes like this |||||||||||||....until the player says STOP! whenever he/she likes. The number of strokes being drawn will be used to count. For instance, if there are ten strokes being drawn then they will countdown each section, the letter at number ten will be cross out. Once a finger has only 1 more letter left, it will be abandoned for the it is being predicted. The last section to count is the PMR, which is counted by its own. It is a bit confusing but it would be easier to show you how to play it. Hahah :).Would sound like a ridiculous game for an adult but rather enjoyable as a kid, just like those random psychology quizzes we take.

And the champion of games in the class is CHESS! Yes, ordinary board game indeed. But the special part about this two boys are, the chess board is hand drawn due to lack of resources. Very Impressive :)
The ponds were originally drawn as picture images, then it was reverted to fonts because they were confused with their own drawings.

Later on, they had another argument on where the Black King and White King is suppose to be placed in the initial position. Well, White King on white box and Black King on black box after I helped them to search on the Internet. However, it was nobody's fault, it was the board that they drew. They used it the wrong side or the boxes are drawn wrongly somehow. Anyway, I am still very impress with the chess set, a hand drawn one :) The con is, you will get cheeky friends who come to your table and Huff puff, blows all the pond away and the game is disrupted.

Of Sound, Of Pedals

2009-05-05T23:32:00.006+08:00

I just had a two day seminar on 4th and 5th of May, covering topics on piano teaching by Emeritus Professor Edward Ho. It was a insightful seminar for me and he thought us a lot about Piano Pedagogy. What a pity that I did not manage to attend the group session on the 3rd day of the. For the past two days, he covered a lot on what to introduce to a new student, components in piano teaching, good materials to introduce, aural, pedalling, sight reading as well as a whole lot of humour and stories from his experience.

What I learn and appreciate most from this seminar is the importance of sound. It is not that I am not aware but I have grew to appreciate even more. To be able to produce good sound, it all balls down to techniques of the arm and the touch. Full stop. That was it for me previously, though I know the pedal plays a major role too but I neglect it mostly. Today, I have learn to appreciate it and truely understand the usage of pedals. The sostenuto pedal was impressive for me, because it could sustain the bass note longer as u control the right pedal along at the same time. Great for pieces that required a strong bass accompaniment. There are also the rhythmic pedalling, half pedalling, fluttering pedalling and legato pedalling.

Besides that, he also explains the different contrasting sound and chracteristics of each period from Baroque to 20th Century, though not in details but enough to differenciate each.

I love the Impressionism era where Debussy is my favourite composer from it. His songs are like magic to me but mostly explained as colourful by others. It is like a reflection in the water, flowing brooks, drifting leaves, dewdrops in the morning and light and fluttery, yet luminous. Some are humourous and scherzando. He incorporates pentatonic My personal favourite is Pagodas from Estampes besides Claire De Lune, the third movement from Debussy's Suite Bergamasque. A beautiful song which means moonlight and the sound and sonority of the tune resembles the soft pale moonlight under the black starry night. Along with gentle breeze that teases gently. It was written in 1888 when Debussy is 26 with Paul Verlaine's poem 'Claire De Lune' in mind. Here I would like to share the poem by Paul Verlaine's poem Claire De Lune.

Your soul is as a moonlit landscape fair,
Peopled with maskers delicate and dim,
That play on lutes and dance and have an air
Of being sad in their fantastic trim.

The while they celebrate in minor strain
Triumphant love, effective enterprise,
They have an air of knowing all is vain,—
And through the quiet moonlight their songs rise,

The melancholy moonlight, sweet and lone,
That makes to dream the birds upon the tree,
And in their polished basins of white stone
The fountains tall to sob with ecstasy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Votre âme est un paysage choisi
Que vont charmant masques et bergamasques
Jouant du luth et dansant et quasi
Tristes sous leurs déguisements fantasques.

Tout en chantant sur le mode mineur
L'amour vainqueur et la vie opportune
Ils n'ont pas l'air de croire à leur bonheur
Et leur chanson se mêle au clair de lune,

Au calme clair de lune triste et beau,
Qui fait rêver les oiseaux dans les arbres
Et sangloter d'extase les jets d'eau,
Les grands jets d'eau sveltes parmi les marbres.

While browsing for this song on youtube, I found another young prodigy by the name of Tiffany Poon, aged 10 when she first played this song. A lovely presentation by her, love the rubato in this piece Claire De Lune.

Music Man, My Hero

2009-05-02T23:31:00.005+08:00

Seeing my super hero Music Man on stage today, he was being one with determination and giving out his best despite all odds. Not sure if my ears were being weird, but I am quite sure that his voice was rather strain today or at least a sore throat in the coming. It did not sound like usual. Hearing him hit those high falsetto notes, high energy performance and sang to the fullest, I was overwhelmed. At some point, it hurts to hear the voice which seems to be crying 'Let me rest'. Yet,the show was fantastic and he persevere till the end.

Music Man, an ordinary man called Wang LeeHom that transforms into a superhero on stage. He saves soul in pain within the internal plane with his special power, music and his weapon, the dragon design guitar. There's something about his music compared to other Chinese musician I listened to. There's always a warm fuzzy feeling, simplicity or hope in his songs, even though it is a sad love song. Creative as he can be, songs from the album will not sound the same in the concert except for the hooks.

(Picture on the below credits to Blue Light Shadow)

The Music Man concert is more rock-ish in nature with good use of animation and Marvel Comic style of theme. His fusion of RnB Hip Hop and folk music for tracks like gai shi ying xiong, shen ling sheng chu and nu peng you had been transformed into rock n roll and alternative. The opening song was yao kun zhe me le with blaring guitars as well as loud vocals. Another interesting act was for the song gai bian zi ji, which is exactly like the MTV, four Lee Hom on stage. I wonder if it is a pre-recorded act on the screen or they made skins that looked like him to be worn by others. Just like those spies in Bond movies. Couldnt really tell from where I am sitting. There were magic act on stage too, dissappeared from the box and appeared again in the middle of the crowd. I am going to be a spoiler. He used another person to take over his place as he travels to the small podium in the middle of the crowd. Again, that person that took over his place looks like him. Interesting use of illusion on stage :)

His violin has never failed to melt anyone's heart. He played 'When You Wish Upon A Star' before going into the famous violin sound from luo ye gui gen, the song for the movie Lust & Caution.

Finally, I can proudly say that I have seen my hero on stage officially. More than 20 000 others were present to see this act in Stadium Bukit Jalil, Kuala Lumpur on 2nd May 2009.

Would like to thank Sze Mun for offering me this wonderful experience. DOMO ARIGATOU!

The Extremes- Martial Art verses Japanese Buffet

2009-04-27T23:08:00.005+08:00

Today i would named it the extreme. We have an extreme motion of eating and an extreme motion of working out.

The day started out as a gluttony session. Went for a buffet in Sasaki, finally, I can say I have eaten japanese buffet. The amount of food that you can find there is amazing, ranging from sushi to teriyaki to lamb shank to sashimi to oyster to and much more. There are some dishes from Korea as well such as kimchi, pickled vegetable and others. I started eating form 1230 pm till 2plus. MY stomach felt like it was going to burst and I'm beginning to feel a lil delirious. Then, it felt really uncomfortable in the tummy. And then I decided to sit on the throne in KLCC, felt a lil better after that. Drove all the way home to Subang. What a long ride.

Then the next extreme begins at 730pm. I went off for Body Combat class which is suppose to start at 745. Did a lil stretching and then the class begins. I am being informed we have to dance to ten tracks. Then all the kicking starts. It was really intense. I havent felt like that since my wushu classes during Form 6. A whole one hour of jumping up and down collaborating stuff from Muay Thai, Kickboxing, Taekwando and so forth. The cooling down session, you thought you could escape. It was a lil bit of Tai Chi at the beginning then it went to pumping! ohmigod, nearly died after that. but AWESOME! :)

Then after Body Combat, the class that I have been waiting for Wushu. Nothing so wushu about at first and I didn't know we are going to learn Qi Gong. Always. thought it was so boring until I think I am beginning to understand the concept behind it. Master's words were confusing, he said yang at the back and yin in front. Maintain yang going up and yin going down all the time. After half hour of shaking in position like zombies in thriller, kinda understood why do we do all this. If both is balance, you have strength against your opponent and the most important lesson is steady and stable on both feet. Grounded and cant be pushed off. I remember this one in wushu when we used to do 'ma bu' (horse stance position- legs slightly apart and knees bended). My teacher would come and push you to see if you are steady enough to be stuck at that position. I asked a lady there and she said he is training us the basic. I guess I began to understand Qi Gong is the real basic to Wushu and Tai Chi and other form. Well balanced chi, you could balance on any pose.

Then , the Master also taught us a self defense stance if someone hug you from behind. Not too bad class, which I thought would be boring when I saw that he is teaching Qi Gong all the way. Will stick around on this one and Body Combat is awesome!

Bones and body are weary, signing off to bed now.

P/S: Here's an interesting write up bout Qi Gong by Claire. Click away!

Music

2009-04-24T12:33:00.004+08:00

(Left Picture: an attempt to draw treble clef)

I am one of those soldier that fought for Music to be part of my living in life.

A survivor, that struggle through the years.

My parents did not allow me to study music in my tertiary education. I was 18 years old then. After Form 6, I have never been more sure of what I wanted in life. My face beams when I browse through music schools brochures and the thought of me being a music major student. All this was crushed, I took on Communications as my second choice. One course that I did not regret taking after 3 years even though that was not what I wanted. 3 years was a torture at point where my soul starts battling on why am I studying something which I won't be venturing in my future career, I could be honing my skills in that 3 years.

8 years has passed, I still feel it sometimes. I still envy those that went for music and some have the nerve to still complain.

Well, the usual perspective, parents or in fact society do not understand how far and rewarding music could bring you forward. Not only music, in fact... Art on its own. Art is not a life of luxury, not many great artist makes it..but I believe..they were happy in their own hard way.

Here's an article about it. Take some time to read, it's quite long.
What I love most on this article is:

"the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin.

Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects.

Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome address to freshman at Boston Conservatory, given by Karl Paulnack, pianist
and director of music division at Boston Conservatory

“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value
me as a musician, that I wouldn’t be appreciated. I had very good grades in high
school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a
research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated than I would be as a
musician. I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to
apply to music school—she said, “you’re WASTING your SAT scores.” On some level,
I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its
purpose was. And they LOVED music, they listened to classical music all the time.
They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit,
because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section
of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has
absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite of
entertainment. Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

The first people to understand how music really works were the ancient Greeks.
And this is going to fascinate you; the Greeks said that music and astronomy were
two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships
between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study
of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of
finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us
figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how
this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End
of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31
years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by
the Germans in June of 1940, sent across Germany in a cattle car and imprisoned in
a concentration camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a
place to compose. There were three other musicians in the camp, a cellist, a violinist,
and a clarinetist, and Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind.
It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the
prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the concentration camps, why would
anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There
was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating,
to stay warm, to escape torture—why would anyone bother with music? And yet—
from the camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just
this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place
where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious
conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without
money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect,
but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit,
an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say,
“I am alive, and my life has meaning.”

On September 12, 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. That morning I reached a
new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the
piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of
habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my
music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there
and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the
piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd,
irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in
time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting
through that week. I did not play the piano that day, and in fact I contemplated
briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how
we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play
cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not
go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, that same day,
was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang “We Shall
Overcome”. Lots of people sang America the Beautiful. The first organized public
event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center,
with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our
first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the
beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but
recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of
“arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a
luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or
an amusement or a pass time. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one
of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings
when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we
can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece Adagio
for Strings. If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the
background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie Platoon, a film about
the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the
ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you
didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s
really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

I bet that you have never been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music.
There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad
music, but I bet you there was some music. And something very predictable happens
at weddings—people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s
some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or
plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t
good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding
cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to
move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so
that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine
watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music?
What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the
softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if
you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way.
The Greeks: Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible
internal objects.

I’ll give you one more example, the story of the most important concert of my life. I
must tell you I have played a little less than a thousand concerts in my life so far. I
have played in places that I thought were important. I like playing in Carnegie Hall; I
enjoyed playing in Paris; it made me very happy to please the critics in St.
Petersburg. I have played for people I thought were important; music critics of
major newspapers, foreign heads of state. The most important concert of my entire
life took place in a nursing home in Fargo, ND, about 4 years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we
often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and
dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during
the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play
rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we
began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the
program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of
the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier—
even in his 70’s, it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general
demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little
bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that
particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we
went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about
both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the
Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the
front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I
honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage
afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II, I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial
combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail
out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us
returned and machine gunned across the parachute chords so as to separate the
parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean,
realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during
that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it
was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why
now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to
commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the
music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?”
Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal
objects. This concert in Fargo was the most important work I have ever done. For
me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland,
and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and
mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

What follows is part of the talk I will give to this year’s freshman class when I
welcome them a few days from now. The responsibility I will charge your sons and
daughters with is this:

“If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing
appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine
that some night at two AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and
you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is
going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart
that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will
depend partly on how well you do your craft.

You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The
truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a
product, like selling used Chevies. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a
paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist
for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone
who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come
into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music; I expect you to
save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of
peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t
expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer
even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have
brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for
humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things
should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do.
As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who
might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”

Another eventful two weeks

2009-04-19T22:42:00.002+08:00

Time just never stop spinning, moving from one frame to the other. In a blink of an eye, it is April 19. Was just so high on Jamiroquai's concert 2 weeks ago and many others.

Secondary concert is finally over on the 16th of April. I was rather proud of the kids for putting up a show in less than 10 practices. My quiet Form 2 which I taught since last year, saw many talents in some which I have never witness before. I was rather touched at some point, though it was not the best but good enough for their silent nature, which is not so silent after all. Shy perhaps. Who was not like that when they were younger, exceptional for some though.

Sometimes when I watch the dancer troup, I wish I had my mentality now and the age then. I would have went very much further. The tune from ' Under The Tent' still rings in my head. Typical Bollywood beat, boys in white in one line formation. moving from left to right. How swift one of the dancer jump, producing a slow motion landing. Amazing talent.

This weekend was rather hectic since Friday. Finsihed work late, had dinner and stuck in jam. Reached home only at 830pm. Lie down awhile and off for drinking session in Helo Bali with Sophia, Lindy and Matt celebrating sop's bday. then hop off to join Ian and the gang at midnight. Left home at 1am.

On Saturday, I was teaching from 9 to 10.30, rush for breakfast and off again at 12pm to next session at 1230 till 5. Rushed back home and packed up to go to the gym. I have finally enrolled myself and I had an appointment with the fitness instructor at 6pm. Had a one hour work out, bathed and reached home bout 730 and rushed out again for dinner at bro's place. We had Japanese food at 8 plus. I was starving because my last meal was at 1130am. Udon, sushi and pathetic thin slices of teriyaki chicken (which tasted more like dark sauce). Parents reached earlier than appointed time. When we got home, it was 930pm. I just crashed on the bed and doze off after 10.

Sunday, woke up early at 8am out of mum's cleaning and clanging of the pots. Horrible to be a light sleeper. waited so long for them to get ready and dim sum break fast at 10am. Finished bout 11am, rushed home and did my laundry. It was boiling hot outside, almost like an oven. Settled everything at 1230pm and rushed off to Cheras to sing karaoke in Neway with Yinn, Juni, Hui, Kelvin, Keith and Dale. No tai chi class today but had a good time. we sang from 1-6pm. Had nice Thai food for dinner. Then hop to Leisure Mall for tea at Starbucks after strolling around. Then back home now 10 pm. So freaking tired.

Cant believe I did so many things in 3 days. Time just flies. Tomorrow another psycho day...Production starting soon. Have to think of stupid games for the camp. CCR. I am not much of a game person, but will try somehow. Sigh. I rather be handling food or something else man.

SIGH SIGH SIGH. I can't wait for the workshops , one in May (Piano techniques) and one in June (Kodaly Method). Rather excited on running as assistant stage too :) Can't wait for all these!

Too High This Weekend

2009-04-05T23:43:00.003+08:00

I am so high this weekend.

High on Uncle's yummy cooking.

High on Twillight (finally I saw the movie)

High on Neway Karaoke with cousins and my gluttony during the session.

And the biggest bomb is HIGH ON JAMIROQUAI after attending his concert!!

After work at 5pm on Sat, the usual tired routine, I anticipate my stay with my cousins. Havent seen them since Chinese New Year. Wow! Even my auntie says 'finally she appears'..ahhaha. It was good to catch up with them. Spoke bout work, life and even religion :) Then, it was time for dinner. Uncle cooked us an awesome meal, the vegetarian vegetable, steam egg, braised ginger beef, soup and chinese sausages. YUMMILICIOUS! Tooo full to speak.

Then, we were having a movie marathon. Unplanned one. Was watching Australia throughout till after dinner. Twillight was the next movie in line. Wow, the story is too good to be true to exist in real life. But, it is nice to dwell in that love fantasy once in a while. Not too bad, Edward Cullen is interesting and the heroine bella is gorgeous too. Wahhahah

Today, we went for karaoke from 11pm till 3 pm. I was too excited with the salad buffet that i gobbled up a plate of pasta, a bowl of porridge filled with eggs, and more eggs and braised vegetables followed by another bowl of noodle. The last one was a waste, I feel bad. I had no more space to fill that up. After the karaoke session, we went for a stroll and arcade in Leisure Mall. Was feeling rather lethargic to go to Jamiroquai concert, maybe the thought that it is in Sepang, far far away...

But HELL NO! It was a FANTASTIC and AWESOME concert. The sound was great and it sounded like it came from a CD. The only difference, there were so much energy and adrenaline rush to it. I've never been able to listen to more than 5 songs from JK in a row with full focus, too much to bear for the head. But for the concert, I had my full concentration and it was a one and a half hour concert. I would shoot myself for not attending it. Great view with just RM100.

We left to Sepang at about 630pm. Was hesitating due to the heavy rain in F1. I was not bothered to attend the race but more for the concert at the end. The race somehow got disrupted due to the thunderstorm. Frusfrated face of the racers on TV. When we reached, there was traffic jam, people were looking for parking. That's not the first, the space leading to the stage was basically mud land. My poor sneakers were soggy and covered with mud after the whole event. YUCK. I havent had this experience since the last sports day. Luckilly the spot that we stood on to watch wasnt so bad.

Was so excited to see Jamiroquai on stage doing his dance strut. I used to see him on mtv for Virtual Insanity and still cant believe i saw him live. He is like a lil midget hopping and skipping here and there. So much of moves, despite that he will be turning 40 soon. Still singing and doing great stage performance. The band was tight. He did a few numbers such as canned heat, High Times, Little L, Cosmic Girl, Alright, Love Foolsophy and a few more. The encore song was Deeper Underground. Great grooves and riffs. You can feel it better than the records. The best part of the concert was his last sentence as he bids everyone good bye

"Thank You SINGAPORE"

Hahhaahahhaha, hello mr JK, wrong island :) Think he is high after ciggy before the encore. HAHA

Endless applause for the show!

time to zz for me now ")

Silly School Rules

2009-04-03T08:17:00.002+08:00

One bright morning and I am taken back to my old school memories as I was listening to Fly FM today. Silly school rules that is established and I have almost forgot all about it. HHAhahhaha

Rule 1: Freeze at the first bell and start walking towards your classroom to line up.

It felt alright to me then, I guess to me rules are rules then. Just follow them. I didn't give much thought to it. Then, today the radio DJs are laughing at how stupid we had to do it. And I agree. We have to freeze at whatever we are doing which includes eating, walking or whatsoever for a few minutes. Then, as our 'loceng ice cream' rang for the second time, we will need to clear up the canteen.

Rule 2: Can't wear shorts to school, have to be long pants. Not even knee length shorts.

Well, we are in a all girls school, does it make a difference if we wear slightly shorter. And plus, PE is sometimes on when the sun is at its peak. I hated that one.

There are some recent rules that I heard on radio, such as cannot wear watches bigger than the 50cents diametre, earrings that is not bigger than 5 cents diameter.

This young girl mentioned that they can only wear small colourful studs, and she goes 'that is such a 90s trend'. 90s trend? ahhaha wow, I am already being categorized as one of those era already. I remember having different variant of colourful studs. And my fav is my dark purple one :) getting old....hahahhaha

Another one that caught me laughing is this story:

A new handsome man teacher came to work in this all girls school. Then, the girls started to wear skirts shorter and putting on lipstick. Then, the guru besar announce in the assembly that students are not allowed to stare at the teacher for more than 3 minutes, giving excuses that it is rude to stare and bla bla bla...

Then, this student happens to talk to the teacher as he was speaking to her about homework. Then the student goes,

" Teacher, where am I supposed to look? I am not suppose to stare at you for more than 3 minutes"

Ah okie, time for breakfast.

Signing off.

Cant really think of any other for now.

I Saw a Rainbow

2009-03-30T19:45:00.003+08:00

Sunny bright sun at one corner and thick dark clouds at the other end. Stuck in between both sides, there is a rainbow.

I saw a rainbow. I felt hope. Freedom. Creativity. Eternal time...I saw so many things that I long for but somehow suppressed. Hidden in between the walls of the materialistic world. Something more sacred than the printed notes that seems to be the source of living. If I found enough courage, I would run free. I would hug mother nature. Drown in her sea of contton clouds. Live in poverty. But the world is evil, they work in binary. Without the notes, you won't be able to do a lot of things. Without suffering and life experience, art would not be so beautiful. We are trapped in that system of notes, but in the end, it still creates something precious...

Realization. Appreciation.

I cry a tear. I flood my room. I am ashamed on how much I have forgotten about life. I am transforming into something I feared most when I was younger. Lost in the reality of adulthood. Forgetting the childlike and imaginative world. Departing slowly away from it. Just like how fairy tales used to speak of kids growing up and never be able to see fairies anymore.

Because they do not believe anymore.

I still want to believe.

Magic. Miracle.

Faith.

Bromo-Bali 4

2009-03-18T23:11:00.002+08:00

After a moody night yesterday, the morning was bright and sunny. So that is how the entrance of our hotel look like.

Deeper inside there is the reception and a pool awaits in the middle of the compound.

Two statues guard the pathway into our hotel, as we follow the narrow path we arrive at the place we stay.

Today is the Balinese New Year. I find myself fortunate to be there then. A cultural experience and a very quiet day. Streets are empty and everyone was dressed in their traditional clothes, preparing offerings in the morning and get ready for their morning prayers. Most shops are closed however, they are only open after the mid afternoon, some just don't at all. P

We had a lovely breakfast, bread on toast, fruits, juice and tea for me.

Above are some of the offerings that they have prepared for the festival. Mostly made up of flowers, sticky rice and grains. Almost every single building has at least some sort of it daily, but on that day, they are more lavish.

Lovely ladies above in their traditional clothes during the festival.

Next, it is time to explore the town nearby. Ubud has lots of craft work, shops that sells traditional instruments, clothes, jewelry, handicrafts, paintings and so forth. A place for art lovers and also those who love spas. Peaceful town with enough entertainment and place to eat. Some of the places are quite far, so we only manage to walk the few streets nearby. There is a shop who has paintings that is filled with gecko or lizard. It look so adorable, never seen those before. Am a proud owner of some of it and couldn't resist getting one.

In the Chinese culture, we have lion dance and a troupe of percussionist. In Bali, we have Barong dance (Could be a boar, lion, dragon or tiger depending on the region). This particular one in Ubud should be a boar. They believe that it is the protective spirit of the land and forest.

After a long walk, we stopped by at the restaurant Dian. Nasi campur in Bali is really delicious, no matter where you go. They serve it with rice, sate lilit, vegetables, tempe (made from soy bean) and fried meat.

We finished the day with a massage and back home early. Hooked on Indonesian drama since the day we arrived in Ubud. All three of the ones that we watch has a girl's name at the starting. I can only remember Alisa, can't remember the two other. Very peaceful night, with beer and no cyber world.

Bromo-Bali 3

2009-03-17T23:08:00.001+08:00

Today we will be heading to Mount Ijen, where the crater lake is located. Leaving Catimor homestay,
the pink old building built by the Dutch at 6am. Waking up rather early, we had another long bumpy ride heading out of the area. We were looking forward for the hike up to see the sulfur mine as well as the crater lake.

Our journey began from this deceving road.
Little did we know that the 3 km hike was up the hill. After one third of the hike, it became rather difficult and steep. We were taking out one piece by one piece of our clothing as it was getting warmer. Felt like our lungs was going to burst. I am not very good with hills personally, in fact hate it. I can walk forever on flat ground but not up the slopes. Cursing the bag that I was carrying which was loaded with my slr and drinks. Very heavy load. I think we walked for about 1-2 hours up the hill. Our driver was smart, he said he would wait until we finish. To escape hiking all the way up, which leave us on our own and we met some of the workers of the sulfur mine.

They offer to bring us to see the view and go down the mine. Charging us a fee at the end of the thing. The fact is they were just on their way to work, and we were merely tagging along with them. Terrible idiots, and we came back with some stupid souvenir made by sulfur. For those who plan to visit Mount Ijen, do not be touched by their 'kind' offer to guide you there because they do not mean it. They expect a tip or fee at the end.

The view of the lake is magnificent from another short hike up after we reach the top. We have dead twigs and branches at the side of the pathway. Looks like the way to Mordor, haha. I was imagining it would be beautiful place for photography with ladies wearing red or white with the twigs as the backdrop. The next challenging part is climbing down into the mine which is rather steep. We were helped by the workers there to hike down. I was trembling because I have great fear towards high places yet I have to hike down no matter what. We reached the bottom and it was an experience. My friend saw the lava flowing out from the pipe. I was to traumatize by the climb down that I just sat there to catch my breath.

Finally, it is time to go back. Those idiots ask us for a fee and....What it worst, after they bring you down to the mine, you have to climb up yourself. There are no proper trail or road up there. One wrong turn could get you stuck. It was so smoky with the sulfur smoke as we were hiking up, we have to stop at some point because it was a plain of white smoke. It makes you choke a lot as well. I felt like I was going to die at that point and the verge of crying. I have a great fear of height. That was really an adventure. I think we took about half an hour to get back up the top of the mine. From all the rocks and polluted air. Your lungs crave for fresh air. Sulfur really stinks.

Getting out from there, we have to hike back down 3km down the hill. That was a breeze but we speed down because we were really hungry. It was so good to see the foot of the hill. We are smoked in sulfur and the smell does not go away. I have yellow stains here and there. A fresh change of clothes and chomp on our sandwhich prepared by the driver. The time is 10 plus am.
We just hop on the car, and what awaits us is a long ride to Bali. Memory of the place as above floats in my mind. We had lunch at a small restaurant before going to the jetty area at noon. Then we drove on again, finally we reached and we took a ferry to cross Selat Bali. My friend made a funny remark which I have to record down, she said we are crossing Jalan Bali :)
This is trip is rather extreme, even on how we have to pack our clothes. We went from the mountains to the sea. Freezing at 0 celcious and moving towards hot humid seaside weather.

Feeling a little sick from too much of sulfur inhaled inside. After the ferry ride and a two hours drive we stopped by at a restaurant where we have the most delicious noodle soup. As we continue, our tired bodies doze off on our journey to Ubud, Bali. The centre of the island. We had almost a 10 hour car ride from Surabaya to Ubud, Bali. We reached the area at about 9pm was very disappointed with Rumah Roda and their online reservation services. It was dark and they did not promise us our reservation. Our room was not available and we had to check in some horrible place. We just left, wondering off with our heavy backpack under a light drizzle. We were wandering along the Monkey Street to look for new hotel. We were lucky to meet the boss of Graha Ubud Bali who would give us a good deal for the 3 nights in Ubud. All the hotels were almost more than 400 000 rupiah per night, which was beyond our budget. So we took the offer, and he gave us breakfast as well as extra bed without charge. The room was huge, really thankful that we found this place. It is a good place to stay in Ubud, I would highly recommend ;) Good staff and service.

Time to zzzz, a long day. A lot of stuff happened all in one day.

Bromo-Bali 2

2009-03-16T11:00:00.006+08:00

The clock strikes 3am and my alarm started to ring. The temperature must have fell lower than we arrived. I was freezing to death. Hui and I had a tug of blanket yesterday night too. Without breakfast, we just freshen up and took about a 1 hour drive up to Mount Penanjakan to catch the sunrise view of Mount Bromo and a few other mounts around it which I could not remember the name. I was wearing 4 layers of clothing and the 5th one is a rented one.

Nothing can be more wonderful than having a nice cup of hot noodles and milo when it is freezing at less than 5 celcious, plus it is 5am.

After the sunrise view, we head over to Mount Bromo. On the way, there is a piece of empty grass land with the mountains behind which is gorgeous. Felt like I was in New Zealand or so.
As we reached the site of Mount Bromo, it was as if we have been transported to Tibet or Mongolia.

Sandy grounds, horses, temples in the middle and the steep steps leading up the crater. Steam puffed out gently and the air is filled with sulphur particles. I was choking a bit on it. The worst part is, hiking up and breathing in polluted air.

As we reached the top, I realize I have lost my lens cap. Of all times and places, at the sandy area. My camera was covered with fine sand after the journey.

I find Mount Bromo pretty plain but the road leading to it is much more interesting. Something that I havent seen in my life at least, volcano, I am just at the mouth of the active volcano.

We went back to Hotel Cemara Indah for breakfast, which is at 9am. Had fried rice, chilled out a bit with coffee and tea with Juni and Hui. The view from the lobby is awesome! The weather has became slightly warmer, very much like Cameron Highlands back in Malaysia

Next destination would be a long ride to the town Malang where Mount Ijen is located. We started our journey at 10 something in the morning and we reached the Catimor homestay at about 4-6pm...could not remember the exact time.
We passed by a coffee plantation as well. The sun rises early there and the sky is dark at 6pm. The ride there was horrible, and the song 'Rocky Mountain' was playing in my brain constantly. The road is rocky and steep. Poor car engine, luckilly it is a four wheel, if not we would be stranded. Catimor homestay is rather cosy. Hot spring ten steps away from our room. Took a long dip in the warm water though it was rather murky in colour. We must be mad. Weather is cooling. Free coffee and tea for the guest. We have to wait till 7pm for the dinner. Fried rice again :) We slept in early and the following day, we have to wake up at about 6am.

What a long day. Though half of it was spent on the road. Travelling for hours from one destination to another.

Bromo-Bali 1

2009-03-15T18:30:00.001+08:00

This is the trip that we have been waiting for since last year. Way before West Side Story production and also Cambodia trip. We are off to see the volcano. I remember reading all about it when I was a kid and remembering the different types of volcano from dormant, active and layers in a volcano. NOW we are really flying there!

Mount Bromo, one of the popular attraction located in East Java,Indonesia, still active and puffing :)

We got a really cheap rate for MAS to go to Surabaya. RM250, two way ticket. My very first time on MAS. We flew off at 430pm and reached Juanda Airport at about 730pm (their local time). It was pitched black in Indonesia. Oki, our driver picked us up and we realized our tour guide FFK us. Gosh! It was just him driving us around, not like what we expected. It was a long ride up to where we stay, Cemara Indah Hotel. We reached there at about 1130 pm and it is freezing!! Much more than Genting Highland in November. We are guessing it is about 10-15 celcious there.

The hotel is wonderful, we get a view of the volcano next to us. Giant size. As soon as we reached our hotel, we were digging for clothes to wear because the chill was really great. Water were ice cold and took about 15 min or so for the hot water to come around. After shower, we just hopped to bed and zzzzz. I was having a lil flu then but one magic Panadol flu medicine, I'm up and alive next morning.

Malang Tidak Berbau

2009-02-08T12:50:00.005+08:00

Finally.... another Sunday of AlMOsT nothingness :D. Almost because I still gotta crawl out from bed to work a few hours. MALAS!! This should be one of the first Sunday I am quite relaxed at home and not out somewhere since school starts.

I miss my room in Subang subsequencely. My nice and peaceful room. I miss sitting whole day in front of the computer and doing nothing or just writing. Hmm..anyway, that is not the point of today's rambling.

I wanted to talk about how 'sui' my day yesterday or it is out of my callous brains! I was supposed to meet up Yinn, Hui , Juni, Rose, Ten and a few other heng tais (Keith, Dale, Kelvin). So i left my house after an exhausted work session. I was driving towards Midvalley and it is RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Somehow, my brilliant brain decided to take a turn to some lorong and missed a turning. I thought that would lead me back to Midvalley but I ended up in Pantai Highway, either going to Sg Besi or Sunway. SHIT! So, I chose Sg Besi and ended up in Cheras. After I cross the Connaught Toll, I decided to give Hui a call to see if I can still meet her and go together. Then, I realize I never bring my handphone. DOUBLE SHIT! I do not have a single CPAC friends number and we promised to call when we reach. That means, I might not be able to contact anyone at all and I would have no idea where to meet them.

So, it was either go back to Subang to take my phone or go to Hui's house and ask her father since am in Cheras. So, i chose the second option. I got the number written on my hand like tattoo. I reached Midvalley finally. Searching for public phone, and it was a tough search because the top floor do not have public phone. I have to run all the way down. Found one! Then, I called and realized it was a wrong number. I walked out dissapointed, almost in tears and I have no sense of time also. Then, I remember Ann gave me her name card. I called her and finally I got those numbers. PHEW!! Found them in Pasta Zanmai.

So lesson number 1,

"never leave your house without a handphone unless u can remember all your friend's number". Lesson Number 2,

"jgn pandai pandai venture new roads when ya freaking tired and it is almost dinner time!"

SIGHH...but the night was good. Nice meetin up with everyone even though my bowl of pasta sucks. Too sour for my craving that night. well...haihh

Me and Juni
Rose and Ten, the new wed couple *sweet*

Miss Hui hui! :) so kawaii here!The three Heng tai (kelvin, dale ,keith) and ji mui, yinn

All pics credits to Dale.

Anway, tonight, another adventure is yet to begin :).....Muahahhahahh!

Till then,

XXXXX

A Spontaneous Trip

2009-01-28T22:59:00.008+08:00

This is random.

It started with:

Ann: Eh Ly, want to go visit Ai Ting tmr?
LY: okay, can ;)
Ann: We go pangkor in the morning also le
Ly: Yea ok! cool ! let's go!
Ann: We call Jfoo also.
Ly: wookay!

And then, the next morning the three psychos started journey at about 8 am zooming off to Lumut.

We landed at the jetty about 9ish and just in time to catch the ferry to Pangkor at 930am.

I have never been to Pankor since I am in primary school. Wow, really cant' remember when was the last time. I have a very bad impression on the beach there, dirty and disgusting. Somehow, I was wrong. It is a beautiful island and rather affordable trip if you dont stay in expensive hotels. Had our breakfast at some random stalls, everything has more seafood than what we get in mainland. We took a van to teluk nipah RM12 one way ride.

Thought want to 'santai' on the beach then we have crazy idea of snorkelling and going round the islands in speedboat. And so we are off to a exciting drift ride with our Mat boat. Met some sea creatures , sea cucumbers...

Next stop, he zoom us off to another place where ann and jfoo goes snorkelling. I decided to stay and jaga my baby while snapping more pics with it. The other side of this small stop has a magnificent view. Gorgeous and more dead twigs or branches :D

Never knew Pangkor can be so blueee! Always had it brown in my mind with twigs and polutions in the water.

Thanks gals! It was a really fun trip! :D Should have more random ones! And finally, we reached our 'MAIN PLAN'. We reach Princess Gan's Palace and being served with so much of Sitiawan yummilicious food and her family traditional cooking. Yam paste, famous Mi Sua with . That is princess gan and her adorable brother (cetak of the father, even walking pose)

Last but not least, her fav pet dinosaur, Bronty Gan :) Thanks Ai Ting for a lovely evening even though we are massively late :P A lunch that became tea time.

Rose's Wedding Day

2009-01-11T13:32:00.000+08:00

This is one of the fun and exciting wedding that I have been. The Heng Tai and Ji Muis are just as mad man.

We went there earlier one day, on the 10th of Jan. Stayed in Hotel S2, which I have a spooky story to tell in a while. The night was spent preparing stuff for the Heng Tai session, 'torture' materials and other stuff for the games. It is one of the chinese wedding tradition where the groom and their friends (heng tai) have to go through games which some can be quite torturous before the groom reach the bride's room. Games in our session includes leg waxing with wax strips, eating banana tie to the groom's body, singing, reciting vows, and others .

Here is the adorable couple, Rosemary and Ten. Then the 7 Ji Mui's from CPAC, including Mr Terrence.

There is the other four more ji mui's on the right. Then, the whole bunch of Heng tais.

Then, subsequently after that is the wedding dinner night. Pictures courtesy of Terrence, our wonderful photographer :)

Ooo, now the spooky story. The room that we stayed in should not be haunted but I think the location that the room at is bad. It is on the T junction of the building. So we were sleeping soundly that night and suddenly a very loud knock came about. I was like 'who the hell' at this hour. I thought it was a morning call from the gals the other room. So i ran and peep through the whole. I saw a girl in white jacket, long hair but her face was looking to the right. I couldn't see how does she look like. Waited there for while for her to turn back and nearly wanted to shout Who are you. But, I just decided not too and tryin no to believe that it might not be a human. She stood rather still and did not move for so long. Rather strange. Too sleepy , I just walked off and jump to the bed, telling hui 'i dunno la, dun care!'.

The moment i walked away, she knocked again. This time hui ran to peep. She saw the exact thing that I saw, then she was spooked up. Runnin to the bed shivering and her heart was beating fast. Hui was like' eeeeeeeee..dunno what is that. scaryyy'. That really adds up to my adrenaline rush by confirming what I did not want to believe. We just huddle together. The time is 5 am. Ahh, still have no idea what is that. It could be human playing pranks or did I really encounter a ghost? EEEEEEEEEEEE!

*splat and hide under the blanket*

Seasons

2008-12-27T11:31:00.003+08:00

Everything in life has its own season. Life itself has little phases that resembles seasons on earth, only more than four. I used to remember writing about the seasons in my life. There was spring, summer, autumn, winter, stormy and the last one, I have yet to fit a season to it. I never brought myself to finish up the writings of the last 4 seasons. Those memories are just too nostalgic for my heart to bear, to remember it. The last cycle of season has ended in 2006. In between it, there was a void filled with random weather...

This morning, i woke up and felt that the new cycle has already began in 2007. I could be entering the 3rd season already. Spring that is filled with hope and summer with all its warm ray has passed. I have reached the cloudy season. Things are just gray and cooling, occasionally, a nice ray will peak through the clouds to greet. It is lukewarm and not as hot as summer. Some things still remain green in the plain, somethings has start to wither. Some creatures are departing to warmer habitats and some are just going away for a new adventure.

For those who remains, they long for the bright blue sky with cotton like clouds that accompanies. Lying in the meadow while popping juicy berries from the summer harvest. Rasberries, blueberries, cherry tomatoes, strawberries... all the vibrant coloured and aromatic berries. All these are missed by those that remains. Envy for those who left. Turning into a dreamer day by day. Searching for new paths to tread on.

6 seasons that seems to run in a period of 3 years...will this cycle be the same as the last?

King Of The Earth

2008-12-18T00:53:00.004+08:00

Absolutely in love with this song King of The Earth by John Ondrasik from August Rush soundtrack. It is dream like, rich and chill out song. John is from Five for Fighting who have written tracks such as Superman.

For those who haven't seen the movie, it is a MUST watch. You will fall in love with the soundtrack even before you watched the show. A tale of a boy in search of his parents through music whom he believes that they are still alive somewhere. And it is music which brought his parents together, separated and united at last.

KING OF THE EARTH

I'm as crazy as clown tonight
a clown without a crown tonight
a simple sack of wishes and bones.
I'm as useless as a memory
the day before it came to me
to save your time stitches and stones

But once in my life
I was the king of the earth once in my life, I was.

I've flown horses on the skies above
that aint enough for you my love to fill
these empty castles with ghosts
I've married devils to their history
sood where you would bury me
through a time of statues and rows

But once in my life
I was the king of the Earth
Once in my life I was.

now that the stars have frozen
in their places all that
I've hold seems gone now
that the stars have fallen from their faces I will see you on
I'll never be your picture present
but I hope you go the rose I sent
to save your town of stitches and bones
I'm nothing more than a simple man
born to be american out to draw these bridges and motes

but once in my life I was the king of the Earth Once in my life...

Almost Forgotten

2008-12-16T05:23:00.002+08:00

I almost forgotten that I used to have a love for blogging. Just sitting beside my hostel window in my uni days. Time is usually 2-5am. That's when my brain will start to tick back to the past. Today, at 5.27 am. I have ticked back into my blogging self. Lost since I started working, till I couldn't breath.

This year was unusual. It is the year 2008. Almost 15 days left before 2009. This year went by so fast, I made myself into a robot or more like a living dead. I worked almost more than 12 hours a day, minus all the extra and compulsory activities. I am left with barely 2 hours a day for myself. These are my weekdays. My weekends, it is usually work again or replacement classes or there is just something that will come along. To cut my granny stories, the point is..... I lost myself. Depression kicks in. Out of balance.

Today, it is the 16th day of December. I realize what I was missing.

Life itself.

Sitting down for a nice cup of teh tarik yesterday afternoon was refreshing. Chatting up with Sasha, brought me back to uni times where we would just chill and watch people and talk bout life. An ordinary day with empty events but time is stilled. Just sipping in the milky tea as if I am sipping in the time, appreciating every second that past for the day. Next, a wholesome meal in Williams that I am so stuffed. Top it up with a bottle of Heneiken...I just sigh with pleasure.

That was one day gone. Here I am now, refusing to sleep. Digging through this blog and now I have reconstructed it. Digging into the archive and i read back random writings. How much I have evolved and how much I have not changed as well. I thought I have to write this post before I sleep, it's time to revive a new lifestyle.

2009, work hard but PLAY HARD too. Live life and be healthy. Spend time with family, friends and Self. I guess I got my next year's resolution sorted out. This year's resolution was great, I did all that I need to, plan goes well but the Self was neglected :(

Ahh, time to sign off. Or I'll end up sleeping in Red Box tomorrow afternoon..ahhahaah

I will not say I will blog everyday, I will try instead.

Returning to Siem Reap Day 1

2008-12-01T22:04:00.027+08:00

Dec the 1st, 2008, I am officially flying back to Siem Reap again after babbling about it for almost a year. Gazing out of the window, with the morning sun staring at me, with its mild flare. I try to breath in the ray separated by the window glass. Sunrise was more beautiful from here then below the land. Though the landscape I saw could not be walked by any feet, only by your imagination. My friend was telling me, that's 'yun hai' or Cloud Sea literally.

We reached about 8am, our tuk-tuk guy was waiting for us patiently as he ushered us and our luggages. This time, I stayed in Mandalay Inn and came back to Siem Reap with 3 of my colleagues. The guest house that we will be staying in is well kept and has great service. Within half an hour, the front desk dude has helped us to arrange a tour guide and transportation after much inquiries.

The first temple that we toured to was the gateway Angkor Tom that leads us to Bayon temple, still looked as great as ever. These are the 3 buddies (left pic) that came with my lil adventure back to Cambodia again. Took a nose-touching-nose-with-Buddha picture (right pic). Brings good luck and happiness according to the guide. He is Than Sopear, very interesting and informative guide.

After lunch, we went over to Angkor Wat. I finally reached the center of Angkor Wat, where the 5 towers are, which I always thought they are only 3 as how the pictures always portrays it. The five towers represent the 5 mountains of Mount Meru. It was gorgeous. Mr. Sopear would make an excellent photographer. He guide us not only in history, but also the best spots to take nice pictures and how to get a wide angle view of the whole place, without any sophisticated lens. Here are some pictures from Angkor Wat.

And to end the day, we went to Phnom Bahkeng to watch the sunset. It is not as fantastic to watch it there compared to Angkor Wat. Well, a final photo to end the post. And again, pictures can be deceiving from what the naked eye had seen. This lovely sunset photo is an example. The marvel of technology and how they capture light to shape the picture :)

Sometimes its best to Ssshhhhhh

2008-03-16T00:44:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when we explain our fear,
it seems like an excuse,
When it repeats itself,
We just want to hear that constant reassurance..

Sometimes we share our pain,
it seems like a complaint,
One year, two year,
One decade,
Till next life,
It's still the same pain,
Stuck like scars

Sometimes we say we are depressed,
What if it is just genetic?
Just your screwed up hormones,
Its not going to go away,
For years and years it stays,
Everyday you struggle to crawl out of that black hole,
What a drag...
What if you tell somebody,
One day they just go,
"you're always depressed as I remember?"
Those are just signs that they are sick of our crap,
Our neverending stories..
That's when you realized,
Maybe I should just shut up,
Or more like turning back time again..

Why tell somebody?
When they cant understand...
Though they might lend an ear,
Its great to just let out what the heart is groaning..
If lending an ear means not saying anything,
Purely listening,
Why dont just talk to the wall,
Talk to the sky,
Talk to the trees or your dog?
Talk in your prayers or...anything...
And make believe IT is listening,
Does it makes us more comfortable that a human is listening,
Because you are sure that the ear's function is to listen?
Plus their neuron cells will react to our words...

Sometimes we are just not at the same perception level,
You might share the same feeling,
But not the same sight to get out...

Sometimes its best to just Sssshhhh,
Look within for solution,
What if there is none?
How?

May You Rest Well in Heaven

2007-11-12T21:50:00.000+08:00

To Speedy, with love,

The most loyal dog,
Despite a lil' temper,
He is a wonderful dog,
Alwiz stuck close to the family,
Right beside our sofa,
As we watch TV,
While he takes his nap.

A brave hero indeed,
Have fought snakes to rats,
Foe in his eyes,
Danger to those he guards,
Protective over his master and family..

A strong soul as well,
Fought cancer with strength,
Lived on for almost two years,
Today, we return him to god and goddess ..
Released from the sufferings of Earth..

A Haloween baby indeed,
Came to us only in November 1995,
Today he departs on 12th November 2007,
May you rest well in heaven,
Among all the brightest stars.

We will miss your handshake,
Your smile,
Your warm welcome when we return,
Your craze over juicy bones,
Your cuddly warm fur,
Your pom pom tail,
That thunderous bark,
Your face during your rat-hunt,
Your tricks to run out of the gate,
And all those wonderful moment you gave us...

We love you,

Speedy aka 'Fei Lou' aka 'Furball'

The Place That You Want To Reach

2007-10-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

When I look back at Hanson’s MTV , “ I will come to you’…that kurtzweil keyboard, the brothers singing…I think maybe that’s what inspire me for what I love today. Music. Still dreaming to be a musician. Playing in a band.

Well, back then I was only 13…rather amazing to see ppl your age topping the billboard charts in US.

Though it seem like a dream then, when we were sitting in the classroom, talking and imagining how and what role do we play in a band, if we ever had one. Later, it all began to take form. Hence, the Black Lilies. School ended, and it died along. Luckilly, jam session resume again in university. Then, now Colours of Funk comes around.

And slowly it seeps into the system of my mind, that music is the direction I want to head, I started crawling and crawling into it…

Suddenly…I realized that I am already almost within it. A flashback by watching the same MTV again, almost ten years later.

Ten years has passed. Even the Spice Girls are reuniting.

Somehow, music is so wide, you will never finish learning. After all these years, there is still something lacking in my playing. The pressure to perform even better. I would want too see it as a motivation to be at a standard. My workplace has become a training ground and my flaws are getting more visible. However, I will fix it. Day by day, let it seeps into my system…I will be better.

Simplicity of Children

2007-10-03T00:06:00.000+08:00

It’s lovely working among kids. When I was younger, eventhough I am 7 or 12, I felt very big…But being at 24 now, when I look at children aged 12 and below, they seem so young and tiny. It’s really impressive to watch them being so talented at such a young age. Say such wise words sometimes.

Kids writing poetry, pretty nonsensical ones but an effort to make it rhyme. Drawings of their imagination. I remember seeing a rather serious drawing, the 7 year old kid who drew the map of the world during the ‘draw anything’ period.

Then, you notice some really naughty and talkative boys has great talent in creative drawing. At times, they gave you so many headaches in class that you forgot that they have much more to offer.

Today, I heard some really lovely voices. A girl as young as 8 yrs old, Abigail…she sang the songs like an adult. Your jaw would just drop in amazement. I remember telling my colleague ‘ Wow, this girl will have such a bright future awaiting her’. She couldn’t agree more.

Today, lil’ Imran gave a hug and to every other teacher before he leaves home. Such a darling. I was a lill’ shock by it. I realize I have been so cold all these years, shutting the warmth of the world for fear of being hurt. I finally understood how one lil hug could really break the coldness and brighten up the dark side of your world. Teenage years can be such a torment, struggling to cope; sometimes you bring the past with you, as you live and grow older.

When you start dealing with younger kids at work or re-enter the primary school compound. It seems like; you have stepped into the past where things seem so much lighter and fun. No worries of money work and so on.

Just the simplicity of children’s laughter. The voice that sounds so pure when they sing.

Leaves you in awe.

I AM CONNECTED!

2007-08-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

I am finally back to the internet world! Blogging in my own private space without swearing gamers and excited kids yelling at their computer screen!Besides that, all the option that cafe put that limits my viewing of certain sites that need me to download PDF files and even word document. This can be rather frusfrating!

Living without internet for almost a year! And wow..a year has passed, a very eventful one! Missed chatting with friends online, my way to keep in touch with most ppl and ah..so many other things that i can do.

21st AUGUST 2007

I AM FINALLY CONNECTED AGAIN!!!!

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Candles of Hope

2007-07-29T12:31:00.000+08:00

Havent made these for quite a long time. These were selling like hot-cakes back in my secondary school for the school's Fund raising festival. I have almost forgotten the 'Do's and 'Dont's' in the process of making these star-shaped candles. For instance, 'do not freeze it too long in the freezer or the ends will break', using the correct raw material or the result and colours would be different and others. So, after two long weeks, i have only managed to produce 15 perfect ones excluding the broken and distorted ones plus juggling with my job. Very tiring indeed. However, its very nostalgic, flashback from secondary school time when we have to produce about 200 over candles that comes in a few other shapes beside these. We have more people doing it together and also enough tools to help speed up the candle making process. Hahaha... What i have here in KL is just two pots to support the mold and one- man show.

Well, its all for the good cause. Thank you for those for have bought these candles during the Mini 6-Hour Famine Camp in Encore Music. The profit from these candles will be donated to the World Vision Fund to help children in starvation and poverty around the world.

结束了。。

2007-06-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

终于找到勇气结束事情，想说的终于说出来了。。
心有点不舍得，
或者，不敢面对未来的变换

没关系了，其实早都应该结束了吧。。
拖累那么久，只因为在等待适合的时机

接下來的路﹐

我要跟多加油﹗﹗ ﹕)

得到自由。。接下来呢？

2007-06-05T11:35:00.000+08:00

终于得到自由了，得到机会退出了。。
但是，突然觉得好害怕。。
说不出口的害怕
我干吗要害怕？还是害怕什么？
可是，心里还是觉得好象快要失去一些东西，不舍得情绪。。

是因为朋友吗？
可以聊天的同人
幽默的客人？
金钱？

是不是因为可以见到他一面的机会快要消失了？
算了吧，反正已经过了半年时间在那儿。。
这种借口真是太傻和无聊啦！
到最后都是自己辛苦而已，让日夜变得没有意思，
如果真的有缘，未来将会遇见。。

不然是因为未来将会有的空间？
不用去上班的早上？！只剩下晚上的工作？

好烦啊！！不用做也烦，要做跟加烦！

好胡乱的一个脑袋！杀死我吧

这几句话一直在我脑海里，不停的在绕

“拿的起，放的下”
”说了，就要做“

保护色

2007-06-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

This song comes from KO One soundtrack, one of the Taiwan drama am watching. Lyrics that speaks the heart someone who have to watch someone he adores with another..

Sometimes, when you like someone, that special someone falls for some else or someone else took a step before you to express their feelings to that special someone you know. At the end, you can only lie to yourself, or perhaps protect yourself by giving your blessing to them. Be their good friend and console when that special someone is sad. Basically, just swallowing your own feelings for the happiness of others...

Hmm..just an attempt on translation. Some words might not be exact...just what I understand :P

Beware...hahha

想对你说的让他先说了
从此只能猜测
你流泪是因为快乐

What I wanted to tell you,
He had spoken it ahead of me,
Since then,I can only guess,
That your tears are out of happiness

想要给你的他先给你了
从此只能负荷
寂寞和爱本来能分隔

What I wanted to give you,
He had given you ahead of me,
Since then,
I can only heal

祝福你是我的保护色
专心扮演朋友的角色
在你们拥抱的那一刻
我心一分为二

Giving you my blessing is just my self-protecting image,
Acting whole heartedly as your best friend,
But when you are in his arms,
My heart broke into two

欺骗你是我的保护色
甘心做个爱情的弱者
真爱不是就能逃得远远的
等待是我职责

LYing to you is my self-protecting image,
Became a weak fool in love willingly,
Real love is hard to escape
Waiting for you is my own responsibility

路越走越曲折不能回头了
能伤害我的都是我爱的
还保护什么还保护什么

The road I chose is getting further from you,
To the point of no return,
only the one I love cAn hurt me,
In the end, What am I protecting anymore?

祝福你是我的保护色
专心扮演朋友的角色
在你们拥抱的那一刻
我心一分为二

欺骗你是我的保护色
甘心做个爱情的弱者
真爱不是就能逃得远远的
等待是我职责爱你是天责

Black Magic Lurks in This Form 2

2007-05-25T11:43:00.000+08:00

Here are some of the things to look out for people :

1. Usually you would not be instructed to keep it a secret about
buying anything, unless magic is involved.

2. It is untrue that other people apart from the owner cannot
touch blessed items. People that you are comfortable with can handle the
blessed items. Of course, it is not a good idea to let strangers or
anybody who you are not comfortable with to touch any of your
closely held items.

3. It is quite common for people to ask what year you are born in
when you are selecting items to suit your animal sign. If it is only to
deal with Chinese animal signs, they do not need to ask for your birth
month.
If your birth month is requested for, you can always ask which
theories they are following. For example, when selecting crystals
and minerals according to astrology, we will need to know what is
the birth month and day.

4. Do not buy closely held items or jewelry from non-creditable
people, shops or organizations.

5. Many people may have the misconception that black magic can
only be cast on them if their eight characters (birth year, month, day
and
time) are known. Eight characters are not necessary to cast black
magic on a specific person.

I have shared this true account as a caution to all that it is
important to exercise care when buying items, especially closely held
items. It is important to know whom you are buying from, where you are
buying from and what you are buying. Do not take things too lightly;
else there may be much to lose.

(Credit to the writer of the previous story)

Black Magic Lurks in This Form

2007-05-25T11:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I received a shocking e-mail from my mother. A forwarded story on how black magic lurks around. This could be just another precaution story to some, but it is shocking to me because I had a similar experience like this back in January. I have never spoken to anyone bout it except to Ee Von. Luckilly, Von asked me to returned the object to the Earth and not keep it. Anyway, do read the story below by another person:

*****************************************
Hi friends,

It is the mid-year school holiday , which is one of the peak traveling periods for
many Singaporeans. This is a true account that I would like to
share as a cautionary tale. I have changed the names of people
involved to protect their identities. Although it takes place on
an overseas vacation, the warning applies equally whether abroad
or at home.

Jessie was in her early thirties and like many of us loved to
travel and her last trip was to Taiwan . While visiting one of
the tourist attractions in Taiwan located near a temple, she decided to get
a souvenir for herself.

She walked along the shops with curious eyes. A well-dressed sales
man managed to catch her attention. He asked her what year she was
born. She answered politely. He further pursued to ask her the
month she was born.
"June," she replied. As she answered, there was a sparkle in the
man's eye. He quickly pulled out an item and put it in Jessie's
hand and she looked at it closely.
It was a small-sculpted stone, but Jessie could not make out what
the item was. The man, with a serious tone told her that this
small ornament was a very powerful item that could grant all her
wishes, but she was not to tell anybody, not even her closest
friends, boyfriend or parents that she had this ornament in her
possession. He informed her to bring this item wherever she went
and not to allow anybody to touch it. Jessie was thrilled and
thought she had stumbled upon a great deal as the item seemed very
precious. She asked for the price and paid for the item.

Vacations like always were too short and she returned to Singapore
.
On the day that she returned, she felt very exhausted as if the
life was draining out of her. She thought that it was due to the
traveling and excitement and did not bother too much about it. She
went to take a nap and as she rested, she started to feel an ache
in her stomach that grew into a continuous sharp pain. By
nightfall, the suffering was so intense that she went hysterical.

She crawled to the altar in her home and started to hit her head
against the altar. Her parents were shocked with her actions. Her
father held her tightly, to prevent her injuring herself while her
mother called for an ambulance. Strangely enough, in the midst of
all the pain and before she left with the ambulance, Jessie
insisted that she had to bring along her handbag before leaving for
the hospital. When she was sent to the hospital, it was already
dawn and she was sent for different tests and scans to determine
the cause of her pain. The sharp pain persisted and even got more
intense. Her Aunt Maggie heard the news that she was hospitalized and
came to visit her. While Aunt Maggie was with her, Jessie thought
about letting her employers know of her condition and hoped Aunt
Maggie could contact them on her behalf.

She took out her handbag and pulled out a pen to write the number
on a piece of paper. As she pulled out the pen, the small
ornament, which Jessie had bought from Taiwan , dropped on the
floor. Aunt Maggie wanted to pick it up but Jessie stopped her. She
said if Aunt Maggie were to touch it, she would have to have it
cleansed. While Jessie was not looking, Aunt Maggie quickly picked
the ornament up and kept it.
When Aunt
Maggie was out in the hallway, she scrutinized it. The ornament
sent shivers down her spine and she was very uncomfortable with the
item so she decided to talk to Jessie's mother.

On the third day, the doctors informed Jessie's parents that they
had confirmed that Jessie suffered from stomach cancer that had
reached
the terminal stage and they had to prepare for the worst. Jessie's
parents were not able to understand this sudden diagnosis, as
Jessie had not had any symptoms of stomach cancer. When Aunt Maggie
went to the hospital and met with Jessie's mother, Jessie's mother
broke the news to Aunt Maggie.
Aunt Maggie was shocked and also shared her discovery of the
ornament with Jessie 's mother. Jessie's mother also had an uneasy
feeling when she saw the ornament. She felt very lost and desperate
about her daughter's situation.

Jessie's mother and Aunt Maggie both knew of a medium; Master Lim
and it struck both of them that he might shed some light as to the
events.
Aunt Maggie quickly called to arrange to meet Master Lim. When they
visited Master Lim, they showed the ornament to Master Lim. At one
glance, he told them that Jessie's life had been swapped with that
of another girl who was probably suffering from stomach cancer and
was dying. The ornament was an object to hold black magic, which
would suck the life out of Jessie.
Both Jessie's mother and Aunt Maggie queried whether there was
anything that could be done. He replied that it was too late as the
black magic cast was very powerful and the ornament had been
discovered too late. The black magic was targeted with certain
criteria: The victim had to be a girl who was born in a specific
year and month. The black magic would lose its power if other
people apart from Jessie touched it. However, in Jessie's case the
black magic had already taken full effect and had become
uncontrollable.
Thus, only direct family members were to be allowed to visit her
and even to send her off at her wake. The strange ornament was left
at the temple to be handled and disposed of appropriately.

Silently, and with great pain, Jessie passed away by the seventh day on
her return from her vacation.
******************************************

So readers, beware. Before signing off, much condolences to Jessie's family.

好闷的一天

2007-05-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

有时候，我会觉得我的生活有点无聊
有时候，我也会觉得我忙的不得了
有时候很精彩，有时候很平淡
我到底要些什么在这段短短生活里面。。。

呼呼。。

好闷的星期四。心情感觉上怪怪得。
在音乐学院理工作，没有人影，好安静，又寂寞
我还是比较喜欢一些工作可以让我自己跟其他人勾通，
若不是，一些比较有艺术的工作。。让我用到我的 Creativity..

** sigh ** 讲别的啦。。。

今天妈妈会从太平到来。
只因为想拿一些保护出入平安的东西给我，坐了四个小时的巴士到KL。
最近一直遇到不顺利的事情，心情也变得好灰。
算了吧。。快快的挽回自己的力量。
希望不好得快过去。
对！！我想我还是去想要带妈妈到去那里吃午餐。。。

如果有会读华文的朋友近过我的BLOG。请原谅我的华文。
对一位英校出身的我，用着中文来篇 JOURNAL是真的很大挑战。
不过我终於做得到了！
在17 岁的我，一句华语字都说不好也不会看得明白。虽然，小时候有上过
华文班。不过每有认真的去学，还是很讨厌。
大了以后，才会遗憾和感觉很丢脸。
好像少了很大部分的文化在我生命里。。
虽然还是不会写，但现在的我已经学会用华语勾通还会认得出基本华文字啦！
哈哈哈。。。幸好有电脑，至需要会读华文就可以利用它来篇JOURNAL！J
今天就写那么多啦！可能未来的POST 也会用华文来篇。感觉上很有趣。。哈哈

好气啊！！

2007-05-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

好气啊！！为什么最近一直遇到不好的事情！！前上个星期才给人欺骗钱!这个星期钱包又应该被偷掉啦，还是不清楚怎样还有及时被偷掉！救命啊！为什么运气那么怀！我真的快受不了啦！但是每一天去上班还是要保值冷静！希望这些不愉快的事快点过去*sobs sobs**

May the 16th

2007-05-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

Today, Little Sonia walked in from the glass door as usual on Wednesday. In her tiny fingers, she held a red present. Then, her Mama says 'Pass it to teacher'. Next, she hold up the present to me and says 'Happy Teacher's Day'. My jaw just dropped open. Hahahhaha. What an embarrassing facial expression but I thanked her.

Guess what? I forgotten today is 16th May, or at least this one day that we always look forward to in Primary School and Secondary School. Teacher's Day. As for me, its more in Primary school, I love my teachers in school. I will always go around Fajar Supermarket hunting down for the perfect gift for my teachers. I remember Cikgu Lily from 1 Melur and a few others which I will present a gift to them. Somehow, as I went to Secondary School, the excitement is not as much anymore. Maybe I don't like the teachers in my school very much. Only a few of them which really taught with their heart. Others merely come to school and read the textbook to us. How lame! No offence, but that's what I felt during those years. Teacher's day was spent performing for them and its a day where no classes are conducted! :)

After I left Form 5, into Form 6 and University years. This day has not been very significant.

This doesn't mean teachers are not important in my life. They are one of the most influential people in my life. I truly thank them and appreciate it. My music teachers, my Monash lecturers, my wushu teacher and a few of my school teachers. Thank you for the wonderful experience you gave me.

Today, I cant believe I am receiving a Teacher's Day present from my student.

Shocked.

Forgotten feelings flash back. Those from the schooling years.

Cant believe I am a Teacher.

Still cant believe.

To me, I just love music.

I want to share what i love with others.

Ah,

S-H-O-C-K and touched.

Just want to drop dead

2007-05-14T12:11:00.000+08:00

The pace of life is moving too fast. What lies in front is just a blurry plain. It is almost 11 months that I am living my life everyday without an internet. On and off after work, I would run to the nearest internet cafe to catch up with the cyber world. More than often, people surrounding me are little tots that could not stop screaming in front of their computer scream, not forgetting swearing in almost different language. They are so excited with their online game, interacting with the rest in the room. Except for me...

I am hook on the web, search engine, blogs and my usual routine of surfing on people's website, whether it is pop star, regular friends, unknown and whatsoever.

After last week's scam, I think all my energy is almost drained. I'm sucked into the blues. In physical terms, driving from KL to Subang and police station and that stupid Penzone company and work. Half of my time is spent on the road. In emotional terms, it is the stupidity in myself that I still could not forgive. Maybe a little now. The hidden greed which I never known. Humans are greedy, its just how it comes around. The feeling is horrible to know that greed exist in you. Sometimes, we just kept it surpressed that we don't see it often. Until it comes around, it drives me to the drain. Besides that, dateline for work, performances, training, replacement class...all happens in one week. Even my weekend is filled with that.

This is the first time returning to Taiping and not being able to go home and have to be back in KL on the same day. Plus, it is Mother's Day. Mum has made a pot of lovely chicken, ready to be fry and to enter my stomach. *sobs*. Sorry mum,if i wasnt so drain this week i will go back by bus early morning on monday.

I just so want to DROP DEAD this week. Just Zzzzzz away till I am recharged and well enough to charge back into this world! Hopeful thinking I guess..HAHAHA.

Life goes on no matter what happens. No matter you are in a black hole or depression or big trouble. It still goes on. So buckle up and pick yourself up. OR wish that they are more than 24 hours a day. Then, maybe the extra hours can be spent recharging, to contemplate and reflect on ourself.

Well, if you don't have enough time to do that. Then, find your loved ones or buddy to relax with. Eventhough its just two hours or a few, the results is rewarding. As for me, cousins, thank you so much. I love going out to tea with you and also karaoke (which we havent done for a while) :) ITs great fun! And thanks to you for introducing to me a smile that I could not forget. The smile of Jiro Wang. *melts* I feel so brighten up! or perhaps, i felt like I went back to high school, fandom over celebrity. Hahaha...Hope the smile will keep me smiling for the rest of the year! Jia you!!

~~~~~~~~~~The Smile of Jiro Wang~~~~~~

Welley Corporation: Part 2

2007-05-06T12:51:00.000+08:00

This post is just a little information on how the scam goes (Credit: Welley Corporation Watch website). It runs along these few lines, only the end results are different for each cases. As for mine, I was not asked to test the product or whatsoever.

The Welley Corporation can come in difference company names. Watch out for:

Welley Corporation (M) Sdn Bhd
Wijaya Marketing Sdn Bhd (been put to rest)
Sinuri Marketing Sdn. Bhd
Glotron Marketing Sdn. Bhd.
Penzone Marketing Sdn. Bhd. (Latest)
Ezono Network (latest )

List of scam products by them:

Genki
D-Tech
Yusho
Shinkawa
Kenko
Nakachima

Hope this piece of information finds you well.

Scamming Tricks of Welley Corporation

Welley Corporation distributes its low quality scam wares by cheating people. Of course, Welley Corporation calls this “marketing”, but the whole world knows it’s a scam! Welley Corporation uses tens of disposable proxy companies that they get rid off when things get too hot. Therefore, as soon as you discovered you’re scammed, take action ASAP!

The tactics used by Welley Corporation reps are very deceptive and convincing. The blatantly misleading approach that is their modus operandi are as follows:

1)Approach the victims’ homes under the pretense of conducting a market survey.

2)Proceed to ask questions regarding the victims’ preferred brands of electronic devices. The rep will seemingly jot down notes regarding your answers.

3)The rep will then “thank” you by giving you a small card where you’re required to write down your name and telephone number.

4)Upon handing back the card to the rep, he/she will say that the card can be opened to reveal either:
a)A “Terima Kasih” (Thank You) message
b) A “Special Gift”

5)The victim is then asked to open the card by tearing along the “cut lines” to reveal what’s inside

6)In every recorded instance, the card is always contains a “Special Gift” image containing pictures of cars, large screen TV sets, motorcycles and travel destinations

7)Then the acting begins! In an act worthy of an Oscar nomination, the rep will excitedly jump up and down while congratulating the victim. In adition, he/she will do the following:

8)Make a call to a “supervisor” saying that he has a “winner”.

9)The “supervisor” will then ask to speak to the victim to confirm that the rep did not “cheat”.

10)The rep will end the call and ask the victim to promise him/her to “belanja” (treat) when the victim wins the grand prizes.

11)Will hug and thank the victim for being “lucky” and mentioning that they will receive a “commission” whenever a victim “wins” something.

12)The rep will want to explain the whole process in detail while waiting for the arrival of the “supervisor” to explain the process more fully

13)Soon, the “supervisor” will arrive or the victim will be asked to go to their “office” where the “supervisor” is waiting.

14)The reps will ask the victim to “use” some of their products and promote it to friends and family members.

15) The reps will then show the victim the products and “test” it out.

16) While the victim is “testing” the products, the reps will go through the “prize list” and show the potential prizes. Details of the “prize list” are as follows:

a)A piece of black and white photocopied paper, usually seasoned and unclear
b)May contain scribbles near the top and bottom areas
Contains a list of approximately 10 to 16 items
c)The “Top 3″ prizes consists of cars, motorcycles and/or projection TVs
d)The “Bottom 3″ prizes consists of 10 day travel packages to international destinations, which the rep will say can be immediately be converted to cash since most people cannot go on 10 day holidays

17)The rep will explain only the “Top 3″ and “Bottom 3″ prizes and will discard the list as soon as he/she is finished

18)The rep will ask the victim to agree to take “promotional pictures” when he/she “wins the big prizes”

19)The reps will then ask you about the products you’re testing.

20) Only then the reps will explain about the “benefits” of the products and how it is of “good quality”. Bear in mind that the victim can only “test” the smaller electronic products.
21) The reps will then ask the victim to purchase the products at a “discounted rate” and try it out to the fullest.

22)Most victims will be hesitant, but the reps will sweet talk them with promises of “guarantees”, “money back” and “full support”

23)For women and those the scammers feel are vulnerable, the Welley Corporation reps have been said to use “strong arm” tactics such as keeping them in the small, cold room to “think about it”. Most victims will start to feel the psychological blow at this stage

24) Victims are then asked to “purchase” the products at RM2,997 with a credit card “to keep it simple”. The scammers have a preference for Hong Leong credit cards.

25) The scammers have never been reported to use credit card scanners, and usually will do the transaction authorisation via mobile phone.
T

26) The final transaction will be higher than RM2,997 due to “credit card charges”
Once the credit card transaction is cleared, it’s time to “unveil” the “prize”

27) Victims will be asked to peel open the sticker covering the “prize”.
At that crucial moment, they will beg the victim to promise to treat them to lunch/dinner/breakfast when the victims “win”. There are reports that they will “pray” and “hope for luck”.
.

28)When the prize is finally revealed; it is always a product that Welley Corporation produces themselves.

29) The reps will then have the cheek to ask the victim whether he/she wants to take a “promotional picture” with the “prize” just “won”.

That’s Not All! The Second Scam Will Now Take Place

At this stage, most victims will feel bad! Imagine, you’ve just forked out more than RM3,000 just to “win” a product that’s worth RM200 the most. A majority of people will realise that something has gone very, very wrong! We would expect a fellow human being to be sympathetic to what has just occurred. However, it’s obvious that the people working for Welley Corporation are trained to be heartless bastards (perhaps it’s even a condition of employment).

The scammers will then make a phone call to their “boss” and say that it’s not a “big prize”. They will then show a disappointed face and say that the “boss” says that the cannot get comissions for the prize the victim has just “won”.

However, there is a “second round” draw where the prizes are similar to the earlier “lucky draw”. The scammers will ask the victim to pick another card from a set of five. Needless to say, it will again be a “winning card” and the process stated above would repeat.

Welley Corporation Scam

2007-05-05T11:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in life, we give the best advice. However, we never seem to follow our own advice somehow. I always tell others 'nothing falls from the sky' or in chinese, literal translation 'there won't be a big frog jumping everywhere in the street', or we can put it simply, money do not come easilly. And yet, I have became a victim of some lucky draw scam today. I am embarrassed for my stupidity, another part, the greed? I never do see myself as a greedy person for money or big cars or houses. I was caught offguard the other night.Maybe a subconcious of me, or part of human nature..there is greed existing. Alrite..I will cut the crap. Here is my story:

"I just realize that I am a victim of Penzone Marketing Sdn. Bhd. after I read their forum on few hours after I bought their scam tricks. They used the same trick posted by some of the forum user in your site. First I was told to open some lucky draw ticket. Then, I ‘happens’ to be the lucky winner. If i get the main price which is a car and so forth, I would have to fork out RM6000 over to buy and support their electric product before i carry away the main prize (this only applies if I win a car and bigger prices). If i happen to win a cash prize, I would need to pay RM3000 over to buy the product before I can carry away the prize. And if I did not get any of the main prize, I can carry away the product (turbo boiler, W Izap, Vacuum cleaner).

The address for their company around subang area is:
Penzone Marketing,
35 1st Floor,
Jln. USJ 10/1D,
47620 Subang Jaya Selangor.
Rep person: Mr Lee (016 650 4931)
Supervisor: Mr Teh

So, my stupidity started. Coz I somehow bought the story and I thought if i do get something, I would not have that amount of money to fork out. So for my case, I swap a credit of RM1500 to retain the ticket so that the following morning I will prepare the other sum to finish off the game. Then, with that amount they let me carry home one of the electronic prize. Then, i went home and consult my aunt and parents. Then my cousin went to check on the internet. Tadaaa~! I came to know I was conned. You can read more from this forum :

http://welleywatch.heritage-tech.net/17/glotron-marketing-latest-scam-subsidiary-of-welley-corporation/#comment-3416

Yea. So the following morning. Went to lodge a police report before my aunt and I go to meet the people. The seargeant advice us to meet them first, if they refuse a refund then go to see him in his police station for further statement. Anyway, they refuse and so the sergeant helped us to take further action. Called the company and inform bout our complain and made the boss to meet us the following week to refund the money. Since it is a credit card swap, there is a cooling period of 10 days. If they pull more tricks, just go straight to the tribunal.

Well, this case is not settled yet. Will see what will surface on the following week.Anyway, a valuable lesson learned. Din know I can get as dumb as that level. Besides, I have discovered where police station are located around my area. Went to 3 of it. LOL. If they dont' refund, I will soon know where is the tribunal office is located.

Till then, updates later.

Another Survey To Thrill Myself

2007-04-30T10:04:00.000+08:00

1.The song you've been most singing to
yourself recently?
Fix You by Coldplay. Somehow the lyrics really striked me. 'When you feel so tired but you just cant sleep... When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worst... Lights will guide you home, And ignite your bones, And I will try to fix you'.

2. What do you currently want right
now?
~ I want a synthesizer and a DSLR!

3. What did you do today?
~ Drove to Proton and my walk-in plan to service car failed. Too many appointments today

4. Are you hungry? What would you
like?
~ Yeah I am. Feel like Japanese! Nori and mayo and any kinda meat with a hot cup of green tea!

5. What have you been thinking about
most today?
~ Eat in Sakae House

6. Do you ever just sit outside and
watch the stars?
~ Ooo my favourite!

7. What is your current annoyance?
~ Ah, my 12 year old student. Still thinking how to handle him in class. Aaarrgghhh!

8. Do you want a new cell phone?
~ Oo yes!I want to change to Nokia, cant stand Motorola SMS system, but not on my priority wish list.

9. Are you waiting for someone right
now?
~ Nopes, actually yes, my parents..but they will only arrive later in the evening

10. Name one thing you're looking
forward to this week?
~ Scout's Reunion Dinner Performance! Fooodd! I'm basically being paid with food for providing entertainment. Hahaha..Should work on getting real $$$ one day when am more experienced.

11. Can you make new friends easily?
~ Yea, if am in the mood to socialize. Sometimes, i feel like i"m a hermit.

12. What would you do if your friend
turned gay?
~ Happy for them for accepting their own sexuality.

13. Do you plan out what you wear the
day before you wear it?
~ Hhaha..no.

14. What is music to you?
~ My life

15. Have you ever fell for your best
friend?
~ Yea i guess.

16. If you had a chance to save
someone significant to you, would you?
[even if its the same result that,
they'll forget you].
~ Yea, if they are in a life and death situation. That's too bad then if they forget.

17. How many times do you eat each
day?
~ 3

18. How do you cheer someone up?
~ Bring them out?

19. Are you a morning person?
~ Depends really on whehter i have enough rest yesterday or the week.

20. Is it easier for you to fall
asleep or to be woken up?
~ woken up

21. Think of one person, stick with
it. you don't have to say their name.
Would you pick them up stranded 100
plus miles away if it was your
birthday?
~ Yea of course. Even if its not my birthday. lol

22. Has your best friend ever hurt
your feelings?
~ yeap

23. Give two reasons why you get
distracted in class.
~ Lecture topics that dont draw my attention and hunger.

24. Do you think it's funny when
people get hurt?
~ Funny? Nah..

25. If you had to guess, how do you
think you're gonna turn out in life?
~ HOpefully no regrets and a bit looser.

Boredom strikes today

2007-04-30T09:36:00.000+08:00

One more month! counting down to my own personal internet line at home soon! Anyway, that's not the point of this post. Its a boring day. My servicing car plan failed. Very free currently, coz my work do not start till later at nite. Two public holidays in a row starting from tomorrow. But what difference does it make to someone who has a job where, when people are working I am lazing around and when I am lazing around, people are working. Want to take a guess what job do i do? It's ok. Its a monday morning, feeling restless. Sent an email for my school just now. Browse around friendster, people's blog..quite voyeuristic this morning. Then, i came across lil surveys posted by EV (miss ya babe!). So there, am just going to play along.

The survey beginss>>>>>

1. A is for age:
- Going on 24 but feels like am still in high school. HAHA, maybe a bit lethargic

2. B is for beer of choice:
- Heineken! But been trying other countrie's beer..they do taste smoother!

3. C is for career right now:
- Hmm, am a temp worker but been temp-ing around the music side and beverages occassionally.

4. D is for your dog's name?
- Speedy!

5. E is for essential item you use
everyday
- Hmm..toothbrush?

6. F is for favorite TV show at the
moment:
- Havent watch TV for a while. Mostly hooked on DVDs and animes.

7. G is for favorite game:
- If am still active in sports, perhaps tennis or just some martial art or dance

8. H is for Home town:
- Good ol' Taiping

9. I is for instruments you play:
- Piano and a bit of guitar and violin

10. J is for favorite juice:
- The traditional orange juice

11. K is for whose butt you'd like to
kick:
- My pesky 12 year old student

12. L is for last place you ate:
- Logenhause in Taipan, a german food place with good grills.But only had their side dishes yesterday

13. M is for marriage:
- Cant imagine

14. N is for your full name:
- Low Li Yien

15. O is for overnight hospital stays:
- Ah, none..hopefully none. I find hospitals spooky at nite.

16. P is for people you were with
today:
- Haha..none yet. Its still 10 am

17. Q is for quote:
- No Regrets

18. R is for Biggest Regret:
- Never fought for what I want in life

17. S is for status:
- Single

20. T is for time you woke up today:
- 8.10 am to be exact

21. U is for underwear you have on now:
- Too sleepy to remember what i put on.

22.V is for vegetable you love:
- petola, eggplant, brocolli, cabbage, sawi...quite a lot in fact. Depends on my mood.

23. W is for worst habit:
- Not that I can recall.

24. X is for x-rays you've had:
- none

25. Y is for yummy food you ate today:
- Havent even have breakfast..

26. Z is for zodiac sign:
- gemini

Yee Sang

2007-02-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

(Picture courtesy of paradasia.com)

I have an obsession over yee sang. I crave to eat it whether it is New year or every other day. I think its the plum sauce. Well first of all, Yee Sang, as I have always thought it comes from China and Hong Kong. However, i found out one day that it is originated from Malaysia. Today, I am at a site http://paradasia.com , it says that it could be originated from Indonesia too. There are about 26-28 ingredients inside this dish. Recipe can be found at the site I mentioned. It has becomes a tradition that we have to 'lou sang' in new year. It is just a symbol for good wealth and prosperity to come. The word 'lou sang' in chinese means everything that we do will be successful. Hence, thus comes the action 'lou sang' when we take our chopstick and mixed all the ingredients together. While 'lou sang' that, we also say auspicious phrases such as 'good health' , happiness and other chinese proverbs that will speaks of prosperous thing that we would hope for in the new year.

(Picture courtesy of Paradasia.com)

This is how it looks when everything is all mixed up (picture above). Last time, we used to use 'sang yu' as one of the item, recently we have a choice to substitute it with salmon, according to people's taste. These days, ready pack yee sang are available in the supermarket.

So cousin, Johnson and I were out for a trip hunting for 'Yee Sang'. We found ours in Jusco. We bought a pack of yee sang and also a pack of sashimi yee sang ( from the sushi section). Planning to mix 2 separate pack together. The Jap version has kurage, salmon, seaweed and others.

The Japanese ingredient yee sang. We took out the ebiko, thought that salmon eggs would taste weird with the rest and also salty.

All geared up to Lou Sang :) We were planning to lou sang today which is the 7th day of the lunar new year which is also known as 'everybody's birthday'.

Happy faces after eating yee sang :)

Cambodia Day 7 and 8

2007-01-16T01:00:00.000+08:00

Day 7 was an off day. Shopping day for us and research day for Dr. Yeoh. We went to the nearby market square to buy some souvenirs. For dinner, we decide to go to one of the restaurant nearby. That place looks like Khao San. Filled with tourist and bars and restaurants. Watched the traditional dances. Then, we head back home to rest. Everyone couldn't wait to be home to Malaysia again.

Day 8. Woke up with diarrhoea. I think it must be from the ice I took yesterday. Coz I was not feeling very well at all. So just lie there and wait till the afternoon where the van will pick us to the airport.

Finally at the airport, Kerry is doing an interview with Sarah for her documentary of this trip

In the plain, all worn out and tired. I'm looking dead with the discomfort from my stomach.
The joy of reaching back to KL! I love being back home! My Char Koay Teow, Nasi Lemak, Fried rice, milk tea and etc etc....

However, I have to wait for a week before I can consume all that. I was down with stomach flu (viral gastroentritis). The diarrhoea, body ache and fever died down in a few days. But, i was nauseatic for the next few days despite me wanting to eat so much!

Cambodia Day 6

2007-01-14T01:20:00.000+08:00

That's Dawn and I on the tuk tuk. It is really very cold and since the tuk tuk is not sheltered, the wind just keep blowing right on our face. I'm all wrapped up like Kenny :) Its Freezing! We woke up really early and started our journey at 5.45 am. Our guide FFK us, so we have to go without. We reach there and its pitch black. But lotsa people are walking into the gateway of angkor wat. Actually, in the guide book, they usually recommend to watch sunrise in Angkor Wat and Sunset at Bayon. However, we saw both at the same place. The road that leads straight into Angkor Wat is packed with photographers and tourist at 7.00 am onwards

This picture above is taken at 7.25 am. I actually had a picture taken at every 5 minutes, starting from 7.00 am. This is the best moment :)

Angkor wat at 8.17am.

Shaz and Mal doing the Bollywood thing :)

Then, its time to head back for breakfast and to check in to a new hotel.

Angkor Wat & Angkor Thom

2007-01-14T01:19:00.000+08:00

Carving of the Apsara goddes on the walls.

Two little Cambodian gals, they were really posing for us at this spot. Cute!

Somehow I never got to this part of the temple. Coz am still stuck at the front part. This is the centre of it if I am not wrong.

The picture above is the Angkor Thom. This is one of my favourite among the others that I have seen.

A groupie photo in front of the Buddha face. This place is quite a hike. The steps are really steep as well.

Looks like our Sunway pyramid, just that it is not a SPhinx

Angkor Thom is located further inside. It is quite a distance from Angkor Wat itself.

Terrace of the Elephants & Terrace of the Leper King

2007-01-14T01:17:00.000+08:00

Moving on from Angkor Thom, the picture below shows another place that we have visited. I don't know what this is called , that's the problem going to Angkor Wat without a guide..heheh. The temples are huge, and we dont' really get to know what purpose does each hall has and so forth.

At this spot where the picture above is taken, I met a kind 15 year old Cambodian girl. She was trying to sell me scarfs but I was not interested. Before I reach here, the rubber layer beneath my shoes came out and it makes walking difficult. We were just resting here looking at Dawn and Ben attempting to climb up the temple in front. I was still fiddling with my shoe, wondering what I can do. The little girl looked at me and said find something to tie it up. Then she walked away. I was actually going to untie the strings from my bag to fix it coz i can't find any strings around. Then, she came back with a rubber band. Then, the idea works! I was about to sit contentedly there. Suddenly, she went off and came back with a tiny bottle of strong glue. I was really touched by her kindness, going all the way to help me. The rest of the journey will be hard if the rubber thing keep coming out. I got to know a little about her, she studies English and Art in school. She says she like drawing. That's cool, hope she will be an artist one day :)

After that we moved on to the next place which is the Terrace of the Elephants and the Terrace of the Leper King. It is just next to each other, all in one stretch. Both are part of the walled city of Angkor Thom. Below are some of the shots I have taken. Beautiful carvings :)

As we were walking out of the Leper King, Shazzy had a little injury here, she slipped and fell. Hope her sprained leg has got all better now.

We are off to lunch after that. We are always surrounded by little kids who try to sell us postcards and bracelets for US1. They will go on and on. This little girl is one of them, but she is rather chatty and Dawn we asking a lot of question. Then, she came out with this phrase 'No money, no honey' after much questions..We were all stunt. Hahaha, never expect it to come out from a little girl like her :)

Ta Phrom

2007-01-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

Ta Phrom, the most distinctive feature in this place are the silk cotton trees. They are huge and the roots drapes on the roof of some buildings. I am really facinated with the sight of the trees. They look almost silver under the hot afternoon sun.

Tree roots that draps on the roof of the building.
The silk contton trees are brilliant beyond description

This picture above, I think I saw something like this from the pictures in the National Museum in Phnom Penh. This could be the spot where that picture is taken.

Besides, Angkor Thom, this is my second favourite :)

That's me pretending to read and ignoring the kids. They have been chanting the same phrase '3 for 1 Dollar' the moment I stepped out of the temple. It gets scary when you start to sit down to get some rest, a bunch of them came over and tries to pursues you to buy it. About to go cuckoo at that point. But I won :) They gave up and started playing games unknown to me with shells.

Preah Khan

2007-01-14T01:12:00.000+08:00

This is the last temple that I am visiting for this trip. This Preah Khan, very different from Ta Phrom. The buildings here seems more squarish where else the Ta Phrom's building seems more rounded at the edges.

This is the main entrance into Preah Khan.

Carvings here are more masculine than the one in Ta Phrom

Picture below is the last part the Phreah Kahn temple. They are lots of Apsara goddess carvings around here.

Well that was the end of the journey. We are going to meet up with the rest who went off for a elephant ride.

Cambodia Day 5

2007-01-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

Today we reach Siem Reap in the late afternoon. I like this town better than Phnom Penh :) More treeesss..hahahha. We stayed at skyway hotel, but then we realize this place is a bit outskirt from town. So, we've been skimming to move out eventhough we placed a booking for few days in the hotel.

In the evening, we plan to go over to Angkor Wat to watch the sunset. Apparently, the ticket can still be used the next day if you buy it during the evening to watch sunset. Hence, it cost US20 to enter the place. Its a breathtaking place. Feels like I'm in Jungle Book cartoon, at some point I felt like I was in Aztec. If ever I come back to Cambodia, I will be back fro Angkor Wat with a good camera to take more shots of the ruins. Its beautiful beyond description. Just magnificent and..well, just be there to see it yourself. HOw on earth did they built this temple? The effort to carve on every single stone that makes up the temple.

Doesn't this look like where the Monkey King from Jungle Book lives?

That's me, doing the tourist thing. But its Angkor Wat, so am willing to take a pic that says 'I was here'. haha

Love this spot in the main temple ruins. Nice place to catch the sun set along with that statue

The place did not look that yellow like it is in this picture, by adding a flash it creates this effect. :) my new discovery for someone who know nuts bout photography.

Its another part of the lovely spot that I like.

Finally, the group photo. The sun has officially set in. Its time to head back home for dinner! :)

Cambodia Day 3 & 4

2007-01-11T16:50:00.000+08:00

After yesterday's trip, it's just all purely pleasant places to visit today. So after breakfast, we started off to the National Museum. It is a lovely place with lovely architecture. Rather similar to buildings you see in Thailand.

This is the front view of the national museum.

This is the middle section of the museum, there is a lovely garden there
Here is another angle of the garden. They are lots of stone artifacts inside this museum. Besides that, lots of stone carvings of Buddha from historical site. They are also bronze and silver accessories displayeed here. After the museum we zoom off for a drink. We requested for a place where Cambodian normally hang out.
I call this 'yam cha' place cambodian style. There are no chairs but 'hammocks' (i think that's wrongly spelt) hanging at each poles. Then, there is a table in the middle. The coke here is definitely way cheaper from the tourist area.

Next destination is the Royal Palace. Here are some pictures of the place.

We went to the Japanese bridge, which is nothing great. Just an ordinary concrete bridge.Hahahha. However, what lies after the bridge are seafood restaurant which cost a bomb to eat there. So, we decided to head back to areas near our hotel for dinner instead. Oo, then we went for the massage. after much bargaining, Jia Xin manage to pull the price down to US 5 per person :) It's the Cambodian massage with oil. Very very nice...after such a long lonnngg dayyyy!

Day 4 is basically spent in Central Market, so its a shopping day. Hardly tried any food there coz the locals really charged us with a high price. In this market, they have lots of silver goods, jewelry, spectacles, clothes, bags and any other items you can find. I find it not cheap to shop in Cambodia. After that, we head over to the Russian Market. This place reminds me of the Jatujak market in Bangkok. Except, it is not as huge as the one in Bangkok i think. In the evening, Malina's Cambodian friend brought us to dinner, in the centre of the town. This is the first time I felt that this place has more development in it. It reminds me a bit of Ipoh town. The food in this restaurant is way way better! The best food within this 4 days in Phnom Penh. The food is still slightly sweeter than what I normally expect from curry and tom yam. They have something that is similar to our otak otak, but I cant' remember what it is called..aaargghh. The night was spent listening to Billy Page, singer songwriter performing at the next door cafe. Actually got a copy of his cd, very country rock feel to it. It is our last night here in Phnom Penh. the next day we will be travelling by bus to Siem Reap. A 6 hour journey!

Cambodia Day 2

2007-01-10T15:40:00.000+08:00

It is a beautiful morning today, that is the front view from the hotel from the balcony. That's the Mekong river, but the smell ain't so great :P
That's a view of the hotel from below. The street is already buzzling with cars, tuk-tuk, motor and etc. Today as planned from yesterday night, we will be heading to the Tuol Sleng Museum. This place used to be a school but it is transformed into a prison for interrogation and torture place, during the Pol Pot regime, also known as S21. This place gives me the creeps when the tuk-tuk first stopped at the entrance.
It gets even more eerie when I stepped around the area of this picture above. This is the Block A, where prisoners are held for interrogation, facing lashes and electric shocks. Classrooms are transformed into interrogation cells. On the walls, they are pictures of people that were found dead (either from starvation or torture) in the room after the end of Pol Pot Regime. Nobody knows what goes inside this place until the regime ended. People just know that nobody ever comes out after they enter the place. Just right in front of the Block A there is the security of regulations, explaining how each prisoners should behave and the punishment they will receive if they disobey.
This is the information board describing Block A.

This is how each classroom looks like. There we have a guide explaining about the room. Here is one of the signboard in front of the graves commemorating the victims.

Next, we move on to Block B. This area is not as eerie as the Block A area. This building has been wrapped with electric barb wire to avoid prisoners from jumping down to commit suicide. Each classroom is transform into tiny cells to hold the prisoners.

There is basically nothing in this small cell except for a tiny hole for the guards to provide water. According to the guide, the prisoners are only fed twice a day and they are not allowed to do their business without the permission of the guards. If they did, they will have to eat up their own shit/pee.

As we move on to Block C, this block exhibits a lot of prisoner's pictures when they are taken into the place. There are also pictures of how Phnom Penh looked like after and before the ruling of Khmer Rouge.

The two pictures above are just some of the torture device used for interrogation.

The trip to Tuol Sleng Museum was a very disturbing experience to me. This is my first time entering a post-war site, a place where genocide happens. The amount of people that are being killed, pictures of women, children and men that have been murdered without rational reasons...they all haunt me for a few days. Such cruelty done to humans are just very sad. It took me a while until today, before I can blog about this place that I have been. Its just very sad...I do not know how to describe it but it is for you to experience it. Pictures above may just be pictures, it does not really describe the feeling of being there and stories shared by the Cambodian guide. War is horrible. Maybe peace be with those souls that have died innocently.

As for our next destination, it is the Killing Fields of Chong Ek. This is the place where mass graves are being found. It is located about 12km (or 20 km, cant remember) from town, rather outskirt. The prisoners from S21 are being transported here to be killed.

This place looks like an empty ground. The first view you will see is this memorial stupa. From the top of this building till the bottom holds many human skulls of the victims dug out from the mass grave found in this area.

Some of the skulls has a crack on the head (beaten to death by bambook stick) and some with bullet holes.

These are the clothings and others that belongs to the victims.

This is how the excavated graves looks like. This place feels very peaceful now and they are lots of butterflies hovering around the grave.

This tree is what they call the Magic Tree. I don't know what so magical about it. It is said that on this tree is used as a tool to hang a microphone which make sound louder to avoid the moans of victims while they are being executed. After these two places. We head back home. Tired, emotions all hair wired for me. I cant sleep for that night. Beer to relax for the night.

Finally, it is dinner time after such a disturbing trip. This is a Malaysian restaurant that serves halal food. What's more, it is the cheapest place among the rest. One meal cost US1. This guy called Weni can speak Malay, and it has became our hang out place for the past few days in Phnom Penh.

Cambodia Day 1

2007-01-09T15:03:00.000+08:00

The journey begins with this post, day 1, flying off to cambodia. This is my first time travelling there. It all begins with our mastermind Dr. Yeoh, my Monash lecturer who have a paper to presents at a conference in Phnom Penh. Hence, he decided to include the rest of us from Monash and from previous Bangkok trip into this trip.
So from the left, we have Malina, Shazana, Kerry, Jia Xin, me,Ben, Dawn and Sarah. And of course, Dr Yeoh, the one who took this picture :) There we are at the LCCT. Posing a bit before we take off from our country.

That's our first dinner in Cambodia and also in conjunction of Shazana's birthday. Below, our birthday girl is about to give a little speech. Hmm, next let me go through on what we have for dinner that day.

Firstly, there is the tom yam, which tasted sweet, not spicy and not very aromatic. Nothing like Thai Tom Yam at all despite how similar it looks. Then there was the curry chicken, which also tasted similar like the tom yam, but this one has coconut milk in it. Then there was the fried squid with pepper (whole bunch of it on the stem).

Frankly, I do not enjoy the Cambodian/Khmer dishes very much. Maybe I am used to hot, spicy, aromatic and not sweet dishes. Almost all the dishes or Khmer dish is sweet. (P/S: this is a comment given after I have return to Malaysia from the trip)

Below is a picture of the kids from the streets selling books. He is just one of them selling tourist books and others. There also a lot of street kids who will come to you asking for money. It can get quite annoying when you are being surrounded at times. They are all along the street of our hotel.

Did not really have a picture of our Paragon Hotel. Its a very cozy place compared to the ones in Bangkok, actually above my expectation. On the first day, we did not really do much. Just stroll along the streets near our hotel, cake house and etc. Ooo, and also tried their local beer, Angkor draft. Taste smooth and somehow, I felt that it had some peanut flavor in it. Hahaha...its just me :)

Music on Fridays

2006-10-28T15:01:00.000+08:00

Cant imagine a world without music. Every Friday seems to be a routine lately. We have been jamming for the scout's project. Kingsley called up to ask me and jocy to participate in it. Every session I seems to be exposed to a new type of genre. The last few times was oldies, rock and roll, and some latin stuff (bossa nova, beguine, cha cha, tango and etc.).

This time its old time scouting favourites ranging from evergreen songs, 1920s an 1930s songs, broadway feel songs, campfire songs and etc. Its a lil project for the scouts. Its cool that so many generation of scouts are working together in this thingie.

Above we have our chief commander, uncle Kwai Chung, followed by Kingsley and Justin (who retreated recently due to school stuff). Picture below is our lady guitarist, Miss jocy!

And then me on the keyboards :)

That's what' s up for these few Fridays, till then ..signing off!

I happen to glance above...

2006-10-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when we are so drifted with the traffic and even life, things looks grey and gloomy and dusty. The soul feels weary and tired...

Somehow, if we happen to take a step behind and sit down on a quiet spot. And somehow, we happens to glance above or look beyond the horizons.....

We are not trapped after all.....

Life is as wide as the sky.......

It changes like the weather , from stormy, cloudy, sunny and so forth...

It's just the way things are :)

Hahaha, enough of Lilowism and I am just publishing what came across my mind when I happen to glance above when I took these picture :P

Cheers!

The Future Cook

2006-10-24T11:06:00.000+08:00

Here's a story of our budding cook in our bloodline: Tadaaaaa! Presenting Ms. Wong Sy Yun or affectionately known as Yuar :)

Here's an image of her at work, cooking with love and patience (despite having taken some medication yesterday night). What she's frying on the hot plate is the Honey german sausage...

And oh no.........that's not all she can cook. Anyone can easilly fry two pieces of sausages. Below you will witness her work of art :

DISH 1: 'Chiabatta with Tuna and Bologna'

I think that's how you spell it. I've been hearing the word 'Sha-Bat-tah' the whole way since I arrive at her home. The tuna filling is well made and its sandwiched between cheese and slices of chicken bologna :)

Dish 2: Yuar's Caesar Salad

Its ingredient includes hard boiled eggs, black pepper bologna, lettuce, cruton and the dressing (Starbuck's style )

Dish 3: Little Squares

This is made from tiny jacob cheese crackers, with a tinge of creativity :) basically is tuna with crackers and cucumber.

Well, that was breakfast! A marvelous one :)

Signing off, Lilow reporting from Cheras..ahhahhahaha Will be back with more news on 'The Future Cook'

Feeling Sick

2006-10-16T10:17:00.000+08:00

It's been a week. I am experiencing back ache, lethargic, flu-ish and currently the soar throat feels like it's about to kick in..This morning I woke up with a strange pain in the middle of my stomach.

Am I too exhausted? Or is it the bloody haze? or is it cause of my sinking bed? Ahhh...Sleepless week due to the mosquito attack every night. I tried the mosquito repellent one evening, then I woke up feeling sick and my sense of smell went numb. I realize my room is too small and the smell consumate the whole space. Basically, I'm choking silently in the room despite being free from mosquito attack.

Other than that, the piano seminar..hmmm , Response aint that great in the end.But it's finally over. My first ever event I ever run. I've got another one coming up for the school, its a psychology talk for Musikgarten. Still have to get more info on it. I shall not blog bout work. That';s for the week since I last blog.

TOday would be brilliant, goin to Neway with cousin and possibly Times Square later :) Too bad that I'm not feeling as great bodily but mentally i'm thrilled! Till then! TAdaaaaa!

Mooncake Festival 2006

2006-10-08T14:34:00.000+08:00

Well well, Yes von, I realize i have gone worst than you...ahhaha. Updating blogs only a few months once. I have no idea how much impact technology has on us. I can proudly say, 'Without Internet, I'm Living in the Ice Age'. Not only Ice Age, 'Outdate' and etc. First of all, I would like to thank my music school for giving me some excitement in my life by allowing to go online to check my mail and blog occassionally when there is nothing to do. Since my comp died last week, I'm more devastated than ever, no more daily animes when I go home or any dvd viewing *Sobs*

Anyway, that's the topic of this post. This is about Mooncake Festival! It just passes 2 days ago. I celebrate it with my cousins on Friday the 6th, 2006. Great fun indeed, but a bit cold in this big city. We took a stroll around her housing area with lanterns. Imagine, 4 big girls aged 23-26 carrying lantern and shouting 'Happy Mid Autumn Festival' whenever we see a house with lil's kids lighting candles or houses with ppl eating mooncake outside. As expected, no response :P I wonder if Taiping Lake Garden is still as merry as I last remember. The whole lake area will be filled with families and resembles a morning market.

I havent got any pics from last Friday yet. HOwever, its Aidan's first mooncake festival. Besides that, its also a night where we big gals reminisce about how we used to play lantern last time. For instance, burning pandan leaves and anything we can see, next door neighbours and the gang we formed and etc...

The joke of the night is when we started to ask 'Why does mooncake symbolizes and the purpose of it?

Answer 1 (Tuar)= To throw into the river (Champion)
Answer 2 (Lilow)= Used as secret weapon (what i meant to say was as a way to pass secret messages during war, but i used a wrong word to describe it)-(1st Runner Up)

We started laughing so hard about it. LOL.Well, I guess the newer generation these days do not even understand the purpose of the festival. Other than the super commercialize mooncake being sold in the malls. Its amazing to see how much have mooncake evolved. Traditionally, it has red bean filling, lotus bean filling, the nut one. Today, we have durian flavour, coffee flavor, tiramisu, Ice cream ones and jelly ones as well. Whoahhhhhh! Power!My all time fav is the traditional snow skin (Ping Pei in canto) mooncake with bean paste.

As for the legend of mooncake festival, just click on the link below, am too lazy to tell the grandma story :P

http://www.familyculture.com/holidays/augustmoonfest.htm

Hmm that's bout it for now! Signing off! :)

3 Years Ago

2006-09-15T10:55:00.000+08:00

I came upon this post when I am surfing through Von's site, thought it's really interesting.Here's my reflection. Cant believe 3 years has passed...

3 YEARS AGO TODAY

How old were you?:
20

What grade year were you in?:
Year 1 Sem 1

Where did you go to school?
Monash University

Where did you work?:
Still a student

Where did you live?:
In the University's HOstel, the infamous A404

How was your hair style?:
Long hair, always tied up..I'm quite a geek. Cant remember if i had any highlights on my hair or dyed it before i went to uni.

Did you wear braces?
haha..nopes.

Did you wear glasses?
All the time, unless for certain occasions then i would switch to contact lens. Glasses are still most comfy.

Who was your best friend?:
Hmm..I have a lots of best friend and sisters, I don't like the idea that there is only one best friend in your life.Dont think it exists and it turns you quite possessive too.

Who was your celebrity crush?:
Lee HOm! not a celebrity crush, my inspiration.

Who was your regular-person crush?:
Not going to reveal, those that know me and remember me 3 yrs ago will know.

How many tattoos did you have?
Nopes

How many piercings did you have?:
5 piercing, 3 on the right ear and 2 on the left

What was your favorite band/group?:
Ermm...quite a number,Silverchair, garbage, smashing pumpkins, blur.....

What was your worst fear?:
Not being able to live my dream

Had you smoked a cigarette yet?
nopes

Had you gotten drunk/high yet?:
Nopes, Dun like the hangover feeling..so I dun intend to

Had you been to a real party yet?
Real party? I would say the real party is when all your friends are there and you have a blast

Had your heart broken?:
Hmm...unrequitted love mostly. Do you consider that?

Had broken someones heart?
If unrequitted love is considered

HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!

How old are you?:
23

Where do you go to school?:
No more school, I do wish I could take up some music course soon.

Where do you work?:
Work in a music school now, doing admin & marketing, and teach piano as well.

Where do you live?:
I call it Jam Land, the Summit area side for now.

How is your hair style?
Short like a boy, that's what Bei Yan told me..hahaha :P

Do you have braces?:
Still dont..dont need it.

Do you wear glasses?:

My principle 3 years ago still remains. Glasses are most comfy, Lenses are for certain days.

Who is your best friend?:
STill remains 3 years ago, the number of best friends i have met these 3 years have increased.

Still talk to any of your old friends?:
Lol..of course, do miss them, try to catch up whenever I can. THough its not like back in high school, we meet everyday ! :D

Who is your celebrity crush?:
Still Lee Hom, and like I say...my inspiration. But I have added three more in my list, Jay Zhou and David Tao and Shin

How many piercings now?
four, two on my right ear are closing up...

How many tattoos?:
Not a single one yet

What is your biggest fear?:
Not living the dream and life i want

Have you smoked a cigarette yet?:
Yeah, just a few puffs out of a dare and a puff of tobacco...ahhaha. NOt very tasty at all. Hate it still.

Have you gotten drunk or high?:
HAhahha..nopes. Don't intend to. Same thing, i dun like hangovers

Have you been to a real party?:
What's the definition of real party?

Has your heart been broken?:
Yeah I guess, from unrequitted love

Have you broken someones heart?:
YEah. Answered this earlier le. It's still the same 3 years later

TADAAA...The end. :)

The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift

2006-06-27T11:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went to Pyramid to catch Tokyo Drift with Sasha this evening, right after my work. Has pizza in Pizza Hut..kinda miss the pizza there, havent had that for a while. Then, the show began at 6.40 pm. There is a guy sitting in front of my Sasha's seat which I think he is Bernard. Hmm..but I did not bother to call him, was just too lazy.

Tokyo Drift. Its the 3rd Fast n Furious. None of the old cast is in there except for a cameo at the end for one of the old cast. So basically, the movie take place in Japan mostly. When the lead guy (Sean) entered Tokyo's underground race group, ahh..the scene...kind of get on my nerves after a while. What's with the slow camera motion that zooms in on boobs, skirts accidently lift up and the fragmentation of women's body in the show? Sounds like a feminist huh? It happens in most movies but its just a bit too much in this one. I just felt like women in that show are just dolls for parades. And they are pretty dolled up too. In Tokyo style, reminds me of those found in Harajuku streets

Am not exactly a big fan of cars, I do like the Drift Technique used in car racing. Sasha pointed out to me the cameo appearance of Japan's REAL Drift King in the movie. He has a short cameo appearance as the 'ah pek' fishing by the port where Sean, Han and the rest of the gang is practicing the drift technique. I just call it cool cornering skills. The car would swerve so fast at the corner that it just drifts across the corner, tilting the car slightly sideways. This show reminds me of Initial D a lot. Maybe its because one of the scene (which i guess) is filmed at the same mountain. The mountain with zig-zag corner road used to race and drift technique is required. Here's a pic (Credits to Drift Club)i found on the web about Drift Technique.

Well, as for the storyline, you have to catch the show and watch it yourself. Am more impress with the drift tech in this show than the cars. hahhaha...but without the cars and its high tech engine, ya cant really perform the drift tech nicely. I am an idiot about cars and engines. So, I will leave this topic for now.

Ooo yeah, after the movie , went over to Tian Wen's place to check out the room. Satisfy with it and yeps, I will be moving over there in August! :) The rent is still the same and inclusive of water and elec too. Just that i would need to install Streamyx myself.

My Space

2006-06-25T14:20:00.000+08:00

As I grow older, space matter. Space can be link to freedom. Independence. It's been 3 years since I moved in here in Sunway. I grew to like it quite a lot. Pyramid can be called my second home. I remember i stepped into A404 on 14th July 2003, or at least somewhere around that date. I never left a tear when I left home, I am more than excited! My own room, own computer, own way to carry out my life. Hmm..not exactly my own, but half of it. Still financially dependent and still sharing a room. I am blessed with a good roommate, von :). Besides that, I have a whole bunch of wacky housemates during that first semester. Then, the quality of housemates got worst and worst. Messy, dirty and unbearable. The worst is this semester. I felt like I am living with ghosts sometimes. But not the whole house, just a few particular people. I shall not start to bitch about it, because that's not the purpose of this post. So, this means that my space have been invaded and violated. I do not welcome those dirty and cold bunch of people.

30th June 2006, This will be the day I officially stepped out of Sunway into another home. Half of me is reluctant to move. Living with your mother's friend is not a good idea. I finally understood this point, even though I have not even move into the house. It means half of your freedom is being slashed. Its worst than hostel curfew. You have to start thinking of not coming back late or not get your mum's friend worried about you. It seems that when I move in, she have a responsibility to take care of me. I don't need that extra nurture, just a company. I decided to move there because I thought she would be somebody familiar. Wrong. Its a burden for me. I have bad vibes, even bad vibes of living in that area.

Today, I will be moving half of things to the room. I don't think the room could occupy all of my things. I told my mum. She asks me to bear. Wow! Expected. I don't think I can live without internet for 6 months. Besides that, the reason I want to move out is to have more space of my own and not get an even stricter curfew. Snatch thieves seems to occur over that area quite often. And so I have heard, its not a very safe place to live in. I think anywhere in KL or PJ or elsewhere is never safe. 'Just be streetwise and have faith' like Josie say. I have to start looking for a new place soon. I have reach point that I don't think I can bear anymore. Telling myself 'everything will be ok, just bear it a bit more'. Bearing means bottling up. My bottle is full. Its leaking out of the lead.

I have bear with Form 6. Telling myself that I could lighten my parent's financial burden and try to live in it. I created a drive that I want to enter local university to be a pharmacist. Form 6 was hell. It is finally over and a new path would be spread in front of me to chooose. I thought bearing with that I could be able to get what I want finally. Punishment and reward to drive me through it. I wanted to do music. My parents gave me false hope, and I ended up in Monash University doing Communication, not Mass Communication. My second choice.

I have to bear with BA of Communication. Telling myself that I love that course and trying to find that the course is interesting. Yes, I did manage to find some good points. However, there are still plenty of holes in the fantasy I create to comfort myself. If its so good and if I have so much passion over it, why is there a hinge of regret that I have wasted 3 years. Oops, I did it again. The same mistake that I did in Form 6. Those pathetic 'bear with it' and 'it will be ok after this' technique. I HAD ENOUGH!!

I got so angry over these years that my passion for a lot of things has slowly dissappeared. Angry of how cowardly I am. How timid. Joy is right, 'You did not fight enough'. Art, music, cooking...it all just drift away. I can't find a reason to live lately. I'm tired of being what people expect me to be. The good filial daughter. Being a girl.

Parents got a place over in Damansara. They say its a stepping stone for my bro and I. I really appreciate them being thoughtful and responsible parents. Maybe you can call me unfillial or unappreciative. I do not like the place they bought. I don't enjoy studio apartment very much unless I am the only one living there. I have to share it with my brother a year later. I don't mind sharing a house with my brother where we have our own room, but this is a studio apartment. They plan to do partition. I don't think that is any good. They always say that its an investment, its for them and if I don't want..It doesnt matter. Crap! Its under my name first of all. Next, I am EXPECTED to pay half of the loan instead of paying rent to somebody else for a place. In the end of the day, I am EXPECTED to live there. Isn't it stupid that you have your own place and you want to rent elsewhere? That seems to be a rational.

I want to be stupid. I have an evil thought to not move in there at the end of the year. For now, I am going to find a new place soon. Somewhere that I will feel I belong there. I do not like living in Damansara Perdana because its at the other end of the world. I have grew to like Sunway area and Subang area. I don't want to live in the studio apartment. I want nice housemates. I don't mind living with my brother if each of us have a room of our own.

I JUST WANT MY OWN SPACE.

People always says that parents never listen. I believe that parents have made an effort to listen these days. However, the definition of 'listen' should not be literal, it should be 'listening and accepting'. What's the point of listening to you and refusing to accept the REAL YOU. They listen and try to be sneaky by softening down with advice that tries to change what you are presenting to them. Is it generation gap? I don't think so. Parents tries to shape their kids into particular way that they imagine their kids to be. However, kids have their own mind and they are an individual of their own. My mother always says I never share anything about my life with her. In fact, all this while I have always been telling her who I am but I realize that she refuses to see what I want to be. So, it was never true last time that I did not share anything but it is NOW. I have grew to keep things within myself. My dreams are still made of glass and still finding ways to solidify into steel. Its hard to share with someone who tries to destroy it instead of giving a bit of support.

I don't want to hear 'what if'...I just want to know 'how to'.

Hmmmm...long post.

In short, next mission: Find somewhere new to move to by August.

Vanished

2006-06-22T05:49:00.000+08:00

SIARAN TERGENDALA

2006-06-05T13:08:00.000+08:00

-------------------------TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED------------------------------------

Will be back in mid june! :)

When The Lights Went Off

2005-12-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

'Contact (Full Names, Home Tel...), Qualifications..'. **POOF**. No, I did not dissappear. It was pitch black. I was listing down the stuff that I need to include in my resume before the lights went off totally. Luckilly, I haven't started to type it out. I used the handphone light to guide me down the stairs before i start to dig out all my tea light candle to light up the hall.

My parents and I just sat down in the living room. They were chatting away and I cant seem to sit still. I was fidgeting with the candles, walking in and out of the kitchen, went out to check on my dog and so on...I WAS BORED! Yes, I was really bored. A black out got me thinking that we are so dependent on all the electronic gadgets we have at home. We practically cant live without it. No TV. No Internet. No Music. No fan. Sighh...I just went out and sat with my dog.

The air was so cooling outside. SKy was beautiful and the view was breathtaking. At least its midnight blue and not purple, like the ones in Sunway. Thanks to the city lights. Nice to be back home with all the trees and fresh clean water. I could just drink from my tap because I can be sure that its not brown like those in the hostel. Sometimes i just wonder how i can bear with my filthy hostel. Sigh..Survival Skills Needed.

I went over to JOy's house for a night. My parents went to bed. It was too early to go to bed for me and its hot. So, JOy picked me up and i slept over her place. Well, she left to KL today. It was such a short meet up session. First day in Taiping, I let her spend time with Josie, dont wanna be the lamp post. Then, yesterday, we were just lethargic.

A Workaholic Reflection

2005-12-20T02:39:00.000+08:00

“So do you have someone yet?” Rani asked.
“Single and happy”, I answered with a smile. A short pause.
“I’m too busy to fit a bf into my life right now”, I continued.

Its 2.30 am now. The conversation suddenly rang in my mind while I was watching ‘Returning Lily’ on Hallmark. I felt disgusted at myself for uttering the second line. I felt sick that I actually said that I am too busy to fit somebody into my life. Its just wrong.

The movie that revolves around a workaholic who got so busy that she neglected people around her, herself and her life. Finally, she found the meaning of living after a short trip back to Hawaii to bury her nanny’s ashes. It strucks me after a while.

Money. Full schedule. Endless traveling. Jobs. Internship. Future. The list runs on in my mind. I am turning into lil’ Ms. Scrooge. Well, I am not totally all that. I just got my own version of Christmas Carol re-run early :).

Human creates time. Human schedule their own time. There is no such thing as ‘no time’ for anything. Sometimes people get so busy with their new life, they forgot to contact their loved ones or old friends. Maybe their busy schedule has changed their perception towards that aspect of life. Its just not important anymore in their life.

I have been so busy this whole year. Juggling between my studies in uni and my piano diploma. Thurs to Sun in KL and Mon to Thurs in Subang for a whole year. To gain something, you lose something else. What I lost was my social life and free time. What I gain is wonderful dinner at uncle’s house, outing with cousin and music lessons.

An empty schedule scares me now. I think I have turned into a workaholic. Now I am exhausted physically and thirsty mentally.

I think I might just found the answer on what to do next month. Maybe I will still try out for the audition in January for a job. In the meantime, from 19th till New Year, I am taking a break. That’s what Christmas is for :). Prepare for 2006. Stay at home and reflect on 2005. Those sweet, bitter and sour memories. Resume my songwriting and writings online. Learn new skills, language and read. Rest.

MERRY X-MAS to everyone! Happy New Year 2006! Take some time off to rest. Even for a day.

Home Sweet Home

2005-12-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

Home, Home by the lake...Finally back to Taiping. Came back with Joy and Josie. 4 hours, ahh..sucha long journey.

I know i should not be spending anymore, but i cant help it. ITs Lee Hom scorebook! I must get it! I am in KLCC. The only place i will be is Kinokuniya. Was there to get the scorebook. I did not know that i will end up getting another two more books. Then, Joy dropped me a surprise visit in KLCC while I was at the Cinnabon outlet.I was suppose to meet her in Nandos Pudu. She wanted 4 chocolate cinnabon but it will only be ready in 20 min. So, we left KLCC and went over to Nandos. Poor Josie, he waited half an hour for us.

I was pretty quiet at lunch. I was busy enjoying my hot peri-peri chicken with greek salad and fries, plus garlic and peri peri sauce. Looking forward to try their caesar salad, it looks good. Caesar salad is one of my favourite salad other than the Oriental salad in California Pizza Kitchen. Its salad with leafy lettuce, grilled chicken, bread pieces and parmesan cheese. Sounds good? :) I have only tried the one in Starbucks so far. The oriental salad taste very much like the 'Yee Sang', a must-have chinese cuisine during chinese new year. There are 28 ingredients in 'Yee Sang' and the act to mix it all up is call 'lou sang'. To signify prosperity and success in the upcoming year.

Okie...enough bout food already! I can go on and on..Maybe i should start a journal on cuisine one day since i enjoy eating so much :) MUahhaha!

Crab Feast!

2005-12-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

My uncle made the most incredible feast today. Steamed crab in two variant = Fried with black pepper and steamed with egg. Oooooooooo! It was just so so delicious! Plus, fried vege and home maded fish paste cooked in soup!

Earlier, we were at Times Square, went to Neway with Sy Yun and Tyan! Ahh so funn...we havent sang together for quite some time. Neway black out that day. We got extra 15 min. The food that i ordered sucks. The unagi is just so so gross when its soaked in the soup, too fishy in taste. NOodle is fine. Should have ordered the Marmite Chicken, that tasted really awesome. Then, it was shopping spree for cousin. We had waffle with Belgian choc. Just awesome. There was not enough time to watch a movie, so we went back home instead. For da Crab Feast!!

Monash Open Day

2005-12-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

I suck today. I have never been so stressed up in a performance before that i did not feel like playing for the second session. Being a classical piano accompanist is not that easy.

Firstly, my sight reading has gone really bad. I have not been playing much new pieces. That's why. Thanks to university life. Time to brush up. PLaying contemporary is so much freer, you can just play wahtever u want as long as its within the chords. Sorry Bei, u have to bear with my lousy sight reading. Hahahha.Thanks for being a great host while am at your place despite you are busy packing for you trip.

I was practising at her place from 12th Dec to 14th, and also on 16th night. She's the flutist and i'm the piano accompanist. 16th was a really tiring day. I got back from the audition, and both of us stil have to practise at night. I could feel my muscles and bones are like falling apart. I just crash when i touched the mattress.

We only made it for two half an hour session that day. She played really good and i screwed up quite a lot that day. Sighh...but it was fun jamming with ya bei! ehhehe..hopefully there will be more this kinda session :)

Monash gave us both a t shirt, cup and mouse pad. They gave me a XL size shirt when WIlson is only wearing size L. Aaaarrgghh..wondeer if they would allow me to change it. Andrew will give us a treat too! So sweet of him!

After the performance, i rushed to pack my back to go over to Cheras. Thank you Melissa for dropping me at Bangsar Lrt! Reached cousin's place, nobody was at home. SObs..i had to sit out there. Then i decided to get my lunch from the mamak nearby. Fried chicken, turmeric cabbage and curry with rice, with teh 'o ice. Just perfect. Sy Yun got back with Jia Hsien and i followed them to fetch Mimi. When i got back,i just crashed. Too tired liao and feeling a bit sick too. Over exhausted. That's all for the day.

Project Super Star

2005-12-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 8.30 this morning. I have an important mission. I was there to test my guts. Today is the Project Super Star audition. Well, not many people knew i went for it, not even my parents. I just told a few friends and that's it.

So i got all dressed up, had a good breakfast and off I go. Reached Berjaya Times Square at 10 plus. There were already a trail of people lining up there. So there I was waiting at the line. I can see a variety of people there which includes, the ah beng, the ah lians, the cool dudes, the nervous one and then.....there is this guy that caught my attention. He looks like a mixture of Wu Ke Chuen and Dylan something (forgot the name of that actor). All dressed up in working attire. At least there is some eye candy to entertain me while i waited to register. Well, ya see, i went there myself without anybody. As usual, I will look for possible victim to talk to.

After registration, we have to sit down and wear the number given Mine was 1510. An hour or two to wait. Spoke to the girl next to me and her friends. Its good coz i could do with their help to look after my bag. Then, it was my turn, being called out with the other 9 participants including Mr. Cutie. I think i was half dead already, tired, slightly hungry and lack of spirit.

So, when it was my turn, I could feel my whole self shaking. I couldnt control it. The room was quiet and bright. The two judges just look at you without saying a word. A cameraman on my left and lights shining at my face. Then, I picked up the mic and sang a verse. MIssion failed of course. I could still remember seeing my hand shakes when i was singing. Voice sounded aweful. AHh...I pray hard that i do not see my face on TV. It would be such embarrassment.

I still have stage fright. Its proven. But this is not the same kind of stage fright. I am quite comfortable performing in front of a crowd if I am in a band. Not use to solo ones. When all the limelight is on me. My nerves just starts to shiver.

Well, it was a good experience and wont be my last :) More challenge ahead. I think its fun. Audition are places where you can meet people. As i was going down the escalator, i met JEssica Tham! My uni mate...waht a surprise! Then, i met this gal Echo Tan (who knows Jessica) and she's from Taiping as well. It was really fun to meet another Taiping-ians. We had lunch at 'Char TOng Kee' with Echo and another guy whom she just knew 2 hours ago. We exchange numbers and then i'm off.

Tadaa! My audition story.

Freaking Lazy

2005-12-11T20:32:00.000+08:00

Freaking lazy freaking lazy, am freaking lazy..Too lazy to blog..so much that happened..I cant really keep track of my time..Busy, I would wish for one whole day, resting in my hostel room, With my pillow, Music in the background..as i daydream away....

LEt's see what i have completed so far:

28th-29th Nov: Finish testing my exam piano in Wan Utama

2nd Dec : Back to Taiping to help with the Charity Musical Concert

4th Dec: Played for the concert and coordinate stage work

6th Dec: Back to KL with mum

7th Dec: PIano exams in Sheraton Hotel. Hung out with mum and old friend
in Bukit Jalil. Its been long since i've last seen them.

8th Dec: Went Redbox with Von and Josie, Had PIzza Hut too and saw Narnia

9th Dec: Went to cousin's house for the weekend

10th Dec: Went Neway with cousin, Did a lil shopping, Saw Perhaps Love

11th Dec: Went to visit Mei Yee, had pizza hut again! Woo hoo!

That's for the week. Super packed with events!
Recap of da week

Girls Days Out

2005-12-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

Its a off day for my cousin today. Its also the first time after my 5th semester we went to karaoke together so long. As long as 4 months! Wow! We we so happy actually, it has alwiz been our weekly routine before she started working. She was much free-ier then, we can go during the weekdays. She never managed to book the weekend usually because its always fully book. Finally, she found out that we can book a week earlier! YAyayy! Neway, the food there is still as good as ever. We had cheese baked crab and claw stick with penne. It was brilliant!

After that, we went shopping. I'm not suppose to be buying anything coz am on a tight budget. HOwever, heaven alwiz knows when you are broke and when to drop something that u wanted to buy for so long, and finally u manage to find it! I's the moss agate pendant! I have been looking for one for so long and finally i found it. The cutting is really pretty over here. Not the regular pendulum shape. its flat and thin. The moss is so beautifully spread that it resembles the mountains in China, some of the pendant has yellow tint. It looks like a sunset backdrop with green mountains. I picked the square one with no yellow tint. Price was reasonable but i had to use up my next week allowance for it..but its WORTH IT mauahaha :D

Cousin bought a few top, purse and a b-day present. I got a good bargain on a bag, It was 80% off! Only RM 14...so happy!

Then, her bf and SOphia came over for the 5.30 movie. We watched Perhaps Love (Ru Guo, Ai). Not a bad attempt for a chinese musical. HOwever, it does resembles moulin rouge in certain parts. The first song was sung horribly by the guy. Jacky cheung did a good job in his singing. Takashi Kaneshiro and ZHou Shun..they are ok..voices not too bad. But i love the song he sang for her. The script and lyrics has nice meaning in it. Overall..the show is ok. I still think I enjoyed Narnia more :D

After the movie, all four of us was freezin! We decided to eat chicken rice in Yulek, Cheras. It is a rainy day, nice day to have hot soup and chicken rice , along with blended ginger and chicken rice chilli. YUmmy yummy! Then, we food freaks could not resist the 'yao char koay' at the road side. We both got the regular one and another one with sesame and slightly sweet. You know what's cool about this shop? Its a chinese snack stall run by Indians. This is the best i have ever tasted so far as well. GOod job man! Next, was dessert and the row of shops below. My fav longan milk. The one i have been promoting non-stop. IT's actualy boiled longan (the brown ones) mixed with milk. The taste is awesome. Try it to know it.

Then, we went over to 'Lil Genting' (Xiao Yun Ding) to check out the city night view from above the hill. After that, back home. I just lay dead on the bed after a nice shower. Satisfied and happy as we check on the goods we bought for the day :)

Pasar Malam Story

2005-12-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

I had my favourite waffle after dinner. Butter and honey. Not bad at all. Ooo, went to Pasar Malam in front of Leisure Mall at 9 something. The shoes were realy cheap and pretty. RM 10 per pair, got myself a pair too. We were the hero for that night. We had a hard time looking for parking. So we parked at one of the road side thinkin that cars should be able to pass it. Besides, everyone parked there as well. Kancil are perfect cars to squeeze into any corner. But who would have guessed a bus would bother to pass that lane? We did see a bus got stuck in front coz cars double parked at the road, we did not think that ours would too. Hahaha..it's a funny scenario. Scary too.

When we walk back, I saw a bunch of ppl crows near where we parked. I thought there was an accident. Then, i raise my head a lil, I saw a trail of busses, 5-6 of them, waiting to pass that road, blocked by our car. Ooopppsss! Big mistake to park there. Those bus drivers were all down, waiting for us to come back, so that they could drive through that lane to get to the bus terminal. Jia Hsien walked over and get the car. They were pissed indeed. But being a Singaporean, he could not understand a word spoken in BM. LUckilly, they did not try to beat him or something. PHew! So that's the pasar malam story. One Kancil that made 5 busses lined up in a trail.

I have never travelled so much in my entire life. This is my first year. It's been a very tiring year but i am happy with it. All effort was done for my music. I am still praying that i will pass my diploma exam. I just dunno what to comment on the recent exam i took. But, my piano exam is finaly over. Kinda sad. I miss having lesson with her. I think she will be really busy next year. Its great that she just got a part time job in Sedaya recently. Such gifted teacher should not be wasted.

My teacher forgot that i was suppose to meet up with her at 3pm. Travelled all the way to Sri Petaling for nothing.Luckilly, there was no heavy rain when i got back :) Went on to practise the performance pieces for Monash Open Day. -End-